Monday, May 14, 2007

Carrot n Stick

how many of us praise or criticise often?? well we do criticise often, but praise rarely. criticism comes easier because its easier to see whats wrong, we are more attuned to the negative. it also makes us feel better, knowing that some..' else has a fault that we don't, makes us feel superior, feel better about ourselves. it is very selfish because frankly we are feeding on some..' else ego to raise ours. we degrade some..' to feel better about ourselves.
well if ur thinking 'i do praise a lot of some..' a lot of the time' well praise also is mostly very selfish. its many times done to simply make someone feel better about us, many times done as a favour. many times as a barter, since i praised someone, i should get it back as well.

its maybe one of the reasons neither do we praise people a lot, nor do we constructively criticise. what we do is help ourselves through these mediums, instead of trying to help some..' else. our praise/criticism should be more of a feedback then a selfish act, and from what i have seen feedbacks are not only asked for but also appreciated a lot.
They also make some..' feel better, even if its a negative feedback, since now atleast they have something to improve. And a praise, even on mundane things makes u feel better, sometimes can make your day. it acknowledges something some..' might have put effort in doing, and criticism pushes some..' to do something.

also praise the process even if the goal has not been accomplished to the fullest. because that praise will make the some..' to go ahead and try again, and better them selves.
I believe well thought out praise/criticism is even rarer. most of what does come out is on the spur, without giving thought to or trying to understand the basis of it. we might say to someone handwriting is poor, without understanding why, and whether there can be something done to make it better. criticism should always be followed by advice, else it is just to make someone feel worse, knowingly or unknowingly.
A senior once said, don't point out a problem if u don't have a hint of a solution first. or you know that a solution can be found.
i hope people criticise/praise more, and why even categorise it, just give more feedbacks, let some..' know what you think of what they are doing... you can start by leaving a comment to this post..!!!
take care n enjoy!!

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