Saturday, January 31, 2009

choose health..!

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, phishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

 A quote from Trainspotting, a cult movie bye Boyle.  Sarcastic in tone...and capturing the essence of what our generation vies for...


It’s a paradox...the things we are proud off or the things we want to be known for are the ones which are injurious to us most...smoke, dop*ng, al. all kill, and all are exciting enuf for u to risk killing urself.

Anyways the heading is choose health...and why, well because I started gyming again and also started yoga / breathing excersises again, and its heaven.  Well gyming is painful, but still it made me get up at 6 after ages, imagine my surprise when I looked out of the window and saw total darkness, I used to think sunrise was at 5:45!!! And I got to see dawn, my favorite part of the day, and I got to feel the cool breeze of early morning, and those faint sounds which get totally lost in the 100 mt sprint of the day.  Gyming is gratifying, done in the morning, ur body hurts and u feel u already have achieved something for the day, the day is not gonna be a total waste.  Plus u, ateast I, drink liters of waters, and that cleanses ur body.  The one thing I ask anyone to do to improve the quality of their life, to get somewhere, to get moving, is to exercise in the morning, it is one of those things which kicks off ur day in the right direction, changes ur mood for the better.

then there is the breathing excersises, i used to do those prescribed by ramdev baba, but switched to sri sri ravishankar version, objective of all these are the same, deep continous prolonged breathing sessions. and they work, i rememver a ramdev baba saying that it fill every cell of ur body with oxygen and refreshes every cell.  very true, i have felt it. u feel energy gushing out of u. and u know what, done properly, ur lungs start burning, ur head spins sometimes, and i genuinely think it helps loose weight as well. and know what, with all the lungh cleaning, the drags are deeper, more satisfying. 

And as for feeling like in heaven, that’s yoga.  I have always been fascinated with yoga, my first yoga experience was in 7th, when I was in a school where yoga was a culture. It was an afternoon school and one day suddenly, before an exam was going to start, there was an announcement that we all were going to some dhyaan before the exam to help us concentrate.  I was so amused, kept my eyes open all the time and was just noticing people and amusing myself, at that point I thought I was cool, today I know that I was too self conscious and scared to close my eyes, I was too afraid of being vulnerable, when I thought I was overconfident and better than others, I was really just scared of what people might think of me. it takes guts to close ur eyes and stand surrounded by people, it takes a level of self confidence which assures u that nothing bad can happen to you, which can overcome ur deepest fears. We do this exercise, stand on one leg, fold the other at knee such that it touches ur bum, and then hold both ur hands out....try balancing, easy, great now close ur eyes.  Still easy, no right. And if u wanna know why, try concentrating on ur thoughts, there will be lots of anxious thoughts, because ur vulnerable. Every small sound, every whiff of perfume (or sweat, it is in a gym afterall), every high note on a song playing will disturb ur balance.

Anyways so that’s how I got started. Yoga, or actually dhyaan, as practiced by many is to close ur eyes, sit in an erect position and then try and concentrate on something, that never worked for me. I chave a shorter then short span of concentration (attending deficit syndorme??!?), can’t sit steady at a place, that too with my eyes closed. Also when I started out, I was more tense about following all the instructions, keep ur eyes closes, sit in padma asan,  body erect, hands on ur knees et al...never could do it. Then realized that any of that doesn’t matter. U can never get to that state if ur thinking of all these things. That state is where u don’t get any thoughts in you head, so how can u get there with all these thoughts there already making house. Where every thing becomes white, u forget everything, nothing concerns u, you don’t consciously notice anything. that state is true dhyaan. And for me that state comes only if i close my eyes, and sit long enough. Anywhere. Anytime. All u have to do is sit long enough. Don’t try and stop the thoughts, just sit, if there are thoughts coming, acknowledge them, or ignore them, ur choice, but don’t force ur reactions. It should be natural. Slowly, and not in that same session maybe, but surely over a period of time, the thoughts will cease to come, and then u start floating.

Yes I have floated, I have felt so light that I actually have tried to hold down my body, wondering many times ‘am I already flying’ . I have seen colors with my eyes closes, brilliant compositiosn of vibrant colors, I have seen those hallucgenic graphics that come with winamp visualizations, and they feel like they are right in front of ur eyes, bright and clear. In that state I can remember every name, every face I have ever met, which otherwise I can never. I can recall incidents which happened ages ago, I get realizations and conclusions which at that point seem so natural, but at other times would have never come. you feel like ur high (yes you do, I know, but don’t tell anyone), you feel at peace.

So much so, that u don’t wanna get out of it, u don’t want to open ur eyes, my body slumps, and I go into a conscious sleep, and it’s the best sleep u can get. Its sadi that 15 mins of that sleep can compensate for 2 hours of regular sleep. And I think it does. Once u open ur eyes, there is ecstatic joy u feel.

Try it, it’s a challenge to get there, but believe me, once u reach that state, u’ll get hooked, addicted. U’d want ur fix everyday, twice maybe. And the good thing about this, it doesn’t harm.  so choose life...start with ur health.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I get so many ideas, thoughts at my coffee shop, you get to observer so much. guessing it’s because its a watering hole for people from many different strata's, many different worlds, and i am at my observing best when sipping on that hot strong coffee and puffing on that cig

There was this old guy, shivering, wearing a bori material shawl, shivering...quite sane, begging. Well don’t know exactly what he was asking me for, was asking in the local language, but then ur conditioned to assume that someone is begging, the clothes, the tone, the folded hands, the expression, anyways he came to me, my nani through my mom has taught me not to give money, instead give something to eat, so asked uncle (the shopekeeper, should ask his name) to give this guy a cup of tea. He started pouring the tea and then just to reconfirm told the guy he was giving tea, and this old dude, shivering as much as he was, said no. and uncle goes...’usa chai nahi daaru chahiye..’ and I smiled.

So after a night of drinking a guy still wants more. Bangalore is full of them, alcoholics who finish a quarter in a gulp, straight up, neat, and then fall right there in front of the seedy, grilled with a small window shop (known as theka in northern part of the country), and they are there all night, in the cold, on the footpath, passed out, sometimes pissing in their pants. And I wonder why?

Suddenly it struck me when a very good friend of mine told me ‘aaj raat party karte hai’ and I asked why, and he goes ‘if I don’t drink it feels weird, need to drink’.  And it struck me...because they don’t have anything better to do, they are not going anywhere. Drinking, partying helps them pass those hours of nothingness, where if they didn’t have the glass or cig in their hands, would be forced to look at their lives, gaze in to the nothingness...and feel unhappy about it.

It’s just an escape from reality, a life of denial.

The second pic is of a ragpicker lady…she has a schedule, and has a job to do. And is very particular about it. Its like any other job, watching the TV playing in the shop, is the usual break that we all take from our mundane jobs. After about 15 mins, she is back to picking up recyclables.

And yes, she is a photographers dream, her look is amazing.  She is the kind who can easily be on the covers of national geographic some day.

On another note, there is another uncle, hardly can walk, his left hand is paralyzed, but comes for a smoke every day. Can’t light the match so the coffee uncle does so for him, smokes a small goldflake, which tells me he has been smoking for a long long time. He always has a scowl on his face, he is angry with the world. He was disappointed some time back, but today he has lost that hope, today he is just angry. I am not good, ur not good kinds. And I feel sorry, not for him but for the world which does this to people his age. Whatever his history would have been, whatever he must have done to deserve being alone at this age, he doesn’t deserve this, no one at this age does. I am always reminded of my dad, who was good all his life,  always worked to give his family a good life, but circumstances washed away his life’s hard work, even after 53 years of struggling, he is still struggling, and is asking, when will I get my dues. When will my life’s work pay up. He is becoming angry with the world. And I am becoming angry with myself.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

so can't find a suitable title for this one...but the post is about some movies i saw over the past two three weeks...starting with rab ne bana di jodi...australia...and ghajini.  also the fact that i am watching this 'chicks on flicks' film review show alongside...a show where two (seemingly hot intellectual girls, but i really think its not really their thoughts but a script they are reading from) review a whole lot of flicks...good thing about the show, they review movies from different sources, different you atleast you get a preview of different movies, but then the reviews are not really good, they are the abstract kinds, where u can't really make any sense of the movie, whether is a good watch, what kind of mood will it go with et al...just a lot of big words and abstract thoughts.
good reviews are by Rajiv Masand on CNN-IBN, very articulate, captures the essence of the movie. he looks from both the film makers point of view, what s/he's thought process was, and whether s/he was able to implement it, and also from the viewers point of view. 
so anyways coming back to what i think about the flicks i saw...
and well i really don't wanna think about ghajini...makes me angry. so much aamir khan movie and such a disaapointment. nothing in he movie...the story line was just like the preface of a was never baked, developed. the characters, well Asin's characters was developed quite well...but what was the relevance to the story? Aamir Khan, running Airtel's hindi movie version, and goes to choose hoardings??!?, and wears half sleeve shirts with tie's?  you know what, its like aamir spent 2 years building his superbly shaped body...but it seems like didn't use his brains at all for this movie.
Aamir Khan, since last three four years, actually since he marketed lagaan for oscars, has understood the value of selling a movie, marketing even, but it seems in the process he forgot the ideals he used to make movies by, he seems to be concentrating more on what needs to be shown on the screens for the audience to like it then on what he wants to show the audience.  not good.
rab ne bana di jodi...well frankly coming from adi chopra, this is a dissapointement. nothing wrong with the movie, its a good 2 hour entertainment package, u don't get bored at most points, but from adi chopra, u kind of expect more. u expect something extraordinary, out of the box. and i think its adi chopra's fault, the only really diff movie he's made is DDLJ, which at its time was a classic, but after that, he's marketed products which were not so good as great...and thats built up expectations. as for the movie, refreshing to see mr. SRK doing some acting, but that lasts for abut half an hour, then he is back to the easy acting, the things he is very used to. i really don't see how that is acting, its the same old things he does in every movie...and its not like he can't act, but as he puts it, 'i do roles my directors offer me, if they give me different roles, i do different actors'...very conviniently blamed ont he directors. the new girl, anushkha (how soon do u think the spelling will change to anooska??!?) is good, acts well, looks good. and sounds intelligent.  nice movie to watch...but i think adi chopra should take more risks, should do something different, he has the success and name behind him, so why be so afraid. karan johar is a good example...he is atleast thinking differently, kabhi alvida naa kehna being the point in case, implementation will soon catch up. 

anyways Australia....or Australia, the adult fairy tale as i have been calling it. thats what it is...a land far far away...a princess makes a long journey...goes through some problems...finds her knight in shining armour....they together get over the problems...and everyone lives happily ever the land far far away...thats where it should end...but hey, it doesn't, there is an entire new story after this one...and thats like a hindi movie. nice movie...i believe bas luhrman wanted to showcase the majestic land down under, and he surely was successful in that, thanks to the camera work and lighing. australia is beautiful, and this movie makes that very evident, its a shame that most of it is not explored. 
except for that, its just a big movie, big sets, lotsa money spent but ultimately its just one of the big epic movies. nothing really different. but still a decent watch. entertaining, funny in parts, although at no point does it make u feel sad, most such big movies in some parts do. 
anyways do watch oye lucky, lucky oye, and sorry bhai, the first better then the second, but then the second has Chitrangada singh...after a long time she is back. 
oye lucky because its different, and its has abhay deol who thinks and does things differently. its not very entertaining, but watch it just for how different it is, watch it from the directors point of view, and not the viewers point of view.
sorry bhai...well slow steady, nothing really special, a different story, and some good performances. and chitrangada.  
take care.

PS: i truly believe an idea and its implementation should be appreciated from the ideator / implementors point of view as well, not only by how successful and liked it was in the users/viewers eyes...even ideas which failed...could have been good ideas. could be that the world was not ready for it.
and the pics are from the iphone...thats what i do now a days, take pics from the iphone in a theatre...weird, i know.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

new year...

for the lack of a better title...and since its new year, day one of 365 similar days!!!

i have come to know the value of expecting less. of expecting nothing. its the only way to live a happy life, because if u expect less, expect nothing everything is more then what u expected...
i know u must be going duh...
when u don't expect anything of anyone, everything they do for u is like a if full of those cherries. it also means never to be disaapointed. and most of us don't have the maturity to take disaapointments, we complain about them, not know that we were expecting more in the first place.
sometimes we fall in the trap of expecations being built up, because someone has been doing something for sometime, being nice to us, giving a rose, we expect we will always be getting the rose. and when it doesn't happen, we complain. but then we humans donot follow the same path, we hardly ever go linearly. its not in our nature, and so doing the same things or better them always is inherently difficult. 
the question comes is, if u can't expect, how can u trust. if i don't expect my loved one to come behave like she always does, how can i ever trust her. well here the epiphany i had...u not only look at what was done for you, but also look at the circumstances around it, what led to it, what was the motive or driver behind it.  maybe the rose was given because someone on the road was selling roses, and he just came across that little girl selling roses...but then does that take away the happiness of getting the, because atleast he thought of giving the rose. be thankful and happy about that. its easy to look at negatives, but always rewarding if u look at the one postive. 
not expecting anything could be a very ballless way of living, its a way of protecting urself...and something we say when a lot of our expectations are not getting fulfilled. that i assure u is a way of telling ur heart that the world is not very good to you, and so do not expect much out of it.
but when things actually are done for u, and still not expecting anything out of is happier. 
ofcourse the highs are not so high, and the lows are not so low...ur just walking.
long post of nothing...
take care.