Random thoughts...in a very very sick state!!!

sick state meaning physically sick, and not otherwise...am sneezing at the rate of 8 per min right now, just hoping my nose won't fall off.
anyways first, apologies for the 'look and feel' of the blog, was just messing around, and didn't realise there was no preview mode, lost my original very simple template (which i loved)...and since then just haven't had the heart to even look at the blog, let alone try to restore it.
anyways...that out of the way, as i said, am sick, and have written about being sick before and how you feel about it and stuff...just one thing to add, when ur sick, or when ur actually dying, all your ideals give way. If you can stick by your ideals when they are tested, those then are worth talking about. Your ideals, till they are truly tested in challenging conditions, are just ideals, they are not really principles you live by, but really quotes you would like to live by.

saw this 30 minute documentary about the life of our universe, actually beyond the universe. answered one questions for me, and gave rise to one thought. the question answered was what was there before the big bang, and what is beyond the universe....well before the big bang were other big bangs, and beyond the universe are other universes (where the laws of physics might actually be different). question answered. well, atleast someone tried to address the question.

also today it dawned on me that our lifespan of 80 years or so...is like insignificant in the lifespan of our universes. we are nothing, by degree of time or degree of number (there are about 7 billion of us and thats just counting humans). but still, we try so hard to matter. to leave a name, but its ironical, if you look at the scale of the universe or beyond, that name is nothing. think of from the perspective of that higher being who is maybe controlling everything (if it there isn't one, think there is), for that being, you or i don't really matter. but for you and i, we matter.
also...was suddenly thinking of how if you know where someone is coming from, or where someone has been, or what someone has been through, if you can know the influencers on a person, you can judge a person quiet a bit. simply because we all are just a collection of influences. each of us would have maybe, and just maybe one original thing which is not there anywhere else, in anyone else....and that too might be mostly because of an accident. very very few are actually different because they want to be so, and don't think anyone one is unique at all....
and that unique thing is our contribution to this world, to the universe. It makes sense right, to have such rarity. if it wasn't rare, then we would have progresses so much so quickly, would have hit the peak at 26 (taking a quote from 'in good company'). its like genetics, change is very very slow, over a period of generations, its slow because you cannot predict the outcome, and so it needs time to prune out the bad outcomes. not sure if the same reason applies here.
too vague and arbit...well. Imagine if 10% of the population was einsteins and newtons and such, we would have been where we are today in like one generation, what after that...you would think there is so much to discover, we would have discovered more, but then would we have been able to make sense of what we discovered, would everyone have been able to absorb it, even today when we are going so slow, half the population doesn't know newtons third law, thats after 400 years of its discovery.
another thought is that i always say i want to know everything...but then i never will be. at the most i can know everything that has happened in my lifetime, but there is so much which is going to happen after i am gone. We hear the sun is going to die in 5 billion years, hell, we not gonna be able to see it. so how idiotic is it of me to say 'i want to know everything'.
it all comes down to scale, how high up you look from. how much you want to see and in how much detail. imagine a floor lined with newspaper sheets...if you are at 10cm from the floor of sheets, you can read individual letters, if you are 1 mt you can see individual columns, at 10 mts individual sheets, 100 mts just black and white garbled, at 1 km, just a greyish floor (or maybe a pattern), at 10 km nothing...
its all about at what height you are looking from, and always know this, whatever height you are at, there is a place higher then your spot, from which someone else is watching you. you only part of a game someone is playing....
as i said..am very very sick today!!!

India...

its most unlikely of me to write a post titled 'India' on an independence day...too cliched for me...but then had some thoughts and in the mood to write. Make something out of another wasted weekend...

i always have maintained that i was to stay in India, how ever convenient life is outside, in US or other developed nations, they after sometime become boring. they have achieved what was to be achieved, life is usual and mundane. In India, life is interesting is what i used to tell...interesting because every day there is something or the other, every moment, you see something interesting, a bomb blast here, an elephant on the road, a newly built road being dug up...something or the other, good or bad, but things keep on happening here.

today was watching this movie Peepli Live and realized, our country is such a big farce. It is full of such contradictions. a country of a billion being pulled by a mere hundred thousands...a million problems, no solutions and still progressing at one of the highest levels in the world...

India is so amusing, you can't stop smiling at the things that go on in the country, at one end we have sages who give insights which are the sign of a civilisation matured to the highest levels, on other hand you have the funniest of scams.

an incident which my friend told me and i need to write about...

on a jam packed road today, a scooterist lost a one of those plastic flags stuck to an straw which was tied on his rear view mirror...and it flew across the road. The signal has just opened, but instead of flying past, which most people do even if someone has fallen on the road, four vehicles, all side by side stopped so that they didn't crush the flag as it flew past them. Finally the flag landed just before a BMTC volvo bus, the drive braked sharply, and someone from the bus actually got down picked up the flag passed it along from vehicle to vehicle till it reached the scooterist, who was still waiting for it. this just amazed me.

but then i also ask this question, isin't this only symbolic. is it only on the 15th august and 26th jan that our patriotism rises, is it only when we see a flag or hear Jan Gana Man, or watch an India Pak match that we start feeling all patriotic. what happens when elections are taking place, or when billion rupee scams erupt or when there are serial bomb blasts, what happens when someone asks for a bribe.

we don't really feel possessive about our country, we don't feel like owners. We do for our state, our city, our area and so on, but on for the country as a whole. Maybe that needs to change.

I don't know, just asking some questions, in my heart i know i am as guilty as anyone else.

Marry ur best friend..heard and wrtten about many times before. Recently speaking to Mai, I asked her why she loved mohito, idiotic question because if u love someone, there are no reasons to it!!! Anyways after a lot of because and err...and a lot of prodding came the straight answer - "because he is my best friend" made me smile.
Anyways this post is not about marrying ur best friend but realising that some people of the opposite sex mght be better as friends then as partners. The thought came watching the song from love aak kal, the best breakup song, althought the song is about breakups, the video is about friendship, having fun.
It's amazing when u stay friends with ur ex-love interests, it works out really well. You can be completely yourself becuase she already knows u quiet well, n more over ur not trying to showcase anything, because there are no chances of anything happening.
You talk freely, because you know each other, understand each others nature, and have accepted it. Moreover the bad things in their nature don't irritate you, you don't have any stake in it!!!
You talk about everything without having to give lengthy backgrounds...they know the history, and so there is this sense of familiarty..!
And u can talk about current relations...there is no jealousy, and there is a very frank opinion given...they have seen you in a realtionship, they know how ur and they have no qualms in telling you that so...
What else...well the point is if you do break up and it's one of those breakups where no one is wrong and as sherry said in 'meteo' - "love left us", make sure ur friends with 'em...they are the best you can have. And maybe ur were only supposed to be friends!!! If it was a passionate relationship, then will take time to get over grudges, but u will, don't let it go...
So here to all the ex's who turned out to be far better friends.

‎"Obstinate are the trammels, but my heart aches when I try to break them. Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed. I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend. But I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room."

Rabindranath Tagore in Gitanjali.