I could have sworn that I already had a post titled 'dreams'. Felt obvious, it was and is my favourite song in the world, the first of many really. The one which always stayed on top of any playlist (and some times got repeated as well). Of course playlists in that time, '99, first year of CEPT was really a recorded tape. I remember fretting endlessly over the order of songs...there was a limit of 20 songs, 10 on each side. If you got lucky, you'd get 11, but that depended on the skill and benovalence of the recording guy. At Rs. 150 per recording + Rs 180 for the TDK 90 minute cassette, this was an expensive affair for a first year kid. So the playlist was really important.
I used to spend hours on the song choice, some were obvious, dreams, summer of 69...and some not so much. And then the order, making sure I had my favouritest songs at the ends on both sides...easy to rewind and listen again. Also making sure that I wasted as little tape as possible, all the songs had to add up to as close to 45 minutes. It was an obsession to get this correct.
Giving the tape for recording, pleading with the guy to make sure he follows the order, and get 22 songs crammed in their somehow. His assurances that since this is CD recording, he should be able to. Checking thrice a week to find out if its done. And finally getting the tape back, playing it for the first time. And writing down all the songs with a thick nibbed blue hero pen, as neatly as my handwriting permitted, and naming it "Mix 1"
And then listening to it endlessly, those were days when I always had earphones stuck in my ears, the wire snaking through my shirt, an arrangement which made dangling the earphones easy, in case there was the occasional need to hear the world outside! Else the songs at full volume helped cut off from the useless world. Somehow my internal thoughts were far more interesting than the world outside...arrogant I was at that point of life.
And Dreams was what started it all. Dreams was the song which made me half deaf, used to play on the walkman. Not just me, but folks in a two person radius sitting next to me could all hear the song loud and clear. Dreams is the song I used to croon along with, the indescribable sounds at the end, was almost like an wolf like creature calling in the distance. Sounds not made for anyone to hear, it was almost like you were not talking to anyone, you were just sending those sounds out into eternity,
College is supposed to be the best time of your life and this was for me. There was no fear of failure, no fear of being judged. The only driving force was to stand apart, make my mark. No baggage of experiences, no tempering of emotions or it’s expression, everyday was a new one, with its own fresh perceived challenges, the only crutch supporting was my flawed definition of right and wrong. It was an innocent time, in the sense I had only animalistic emotions, pure fear. Still to be corrupted, still to be layered, no complications! It was a different time, it was a different place. A life I left behind, a life I still cherish the most!
PS: Thanks Dolores O'Riordan, till the day you left, I never bothered to find out your name. But know this, your songs were a major part of my life for many years. And still are! RIP frontwoman...