The allpowerful almighty...

With nothing to do, am sitting on my balcony just staring at space n having a text discussion with a friend far away about God...N when the texts started reading like a blogpost, thought I'd rather blog then bore palli to death so here goes..

I don't really believe in God, I have been conditioned to yes, n so out of habit I bow in front of temples n say Jai Bhagwanji whenever wishing good for someone, but since I have gained consciousness n become more thinking, I have started questioning everything which seemed not explainable by logic n science n rationality n the concept of God is one of them.

I think the concept of God came about because there are so many things that we couldn't explain in the early days of evolution, n even today.so many things which made us wonder, the unexplained, the stuff which made us fearful, which made us insecure. For all those things, we wanted an explanation, and God became that. we invented God to attribute all that we couldn't explan, to protect from all that we feared...we invented God to explain our own ignorance really.

Think about it, the only two times we go to God is 1) when something unexplained / unexpected happens...'ya to Bhagwan ka karishma hai' types and 2) when we want / fear something...'Bhagwan mujhe ya/ woh/sab de do' types.

And there will always be stuff we won't be able to understand, but many of the things which were attributed to God are now explained by science...evolution, the universe and stuff. And so there might be a day when everything will be explained by science...although, looking at the vastness of the universe n beyond, don't think that's gonna ever happen.

And also becuase I think, the universe is nothing but a self evolving n growing (increasingly complex) system which is based in finite number of fixed rules.but the elements in this system are ever changing n also growing in number, n so science n our understanding which is already so behind, will never be able to catch up. Also we are part of the system, n ourselves changing within it, n so it's kind of paradoxical for us to explain n understand ourselves while we are changing while doing it.

So who is in control, is there a superior being, well no. No one is in control, there is no superior being with a conscious...just a system...a huge, complex, evolving system...so complex because everything affects everything and thus unmapable by us due to limitation of our brain and computational power. Think of it as our nature...complex, evolving with ever new experience, learning, ever changing...!

Seems like the post is coming to a sudden end...lets not...

So what about fate n chance n karma...well all part of the system. Take a coin toss. The white knight in the dark knight says fate is the only uncorruptable force...but is it really. Can u not with advanced computations and in a controlled environment predict a coin toss. N if u can, can that then not be extended to real world, given enough computational resources... and if it can, can't u then manipulate those factors affecting the coin toss to get desired reults..and if u can, u have just overcome chance.

Moral of the story...just because it can't be understood n explained n controlled by u, doesn't mean it is understood n explained n controlled by an unknown all powerful conscientious being.

Let's not attribute our ignornce to someone supremely intelligent.

Take care.

I do believe in horoscopes, which is very contradictory to what I have said above, but have a theory for that too...a scientific explainable theory...won't write now, enough material given above for u to shoot holes in....:)

Also no offense to people who believe...I think the concept of God n religion is beautiful...it is the most powerful medium in the world today to speed any message, whether good n or sadly bad. It supports n gives hope to billions...it is the basis of existence for many...I am just saying that it doesn't have a logical rationl explntion for me. It's very personal....

Ankur

Say what you need to say!

One of the things I love about American Presidents is their speeches. That once a week address to the nation, those state of the Union addresses, that funny speech to the press corps and the adhoc but still well organised, well written conferences they do for every issue, where the press waits for their questions. This is all coordinated by the Press secretary, yep they have a special post to handle the media, special people who write those speeches and special people who decide on what message needs to be sent to the general public through the medium of the media.
Their emphasis is so much that one of the parameters the president is judged on is his (america has never had a 'her' as president so..) oratory skills...thats why Bill Clinton was so good, Bush so bad.
So why am I saying this, well because India doesn't have that. I have never seen an organised press conference by the Indian government or other political parties, which is broadcast throughout. The only speech I remember is the prime ministers 15th aug address, and maybe the Foreign Secretarys joint statements.
They have started having spokespersons but they keep on changing with every event, every incident. What they have is a hundred people saying a hundred things, which basically means you never know what the stand of the government is, and then start wondering if they have a stand.
Thats is the problem with communciation, a lot of it leads to confusion, a lack of it leads to miscommunication. When you don't communicate, people and in todays world, the 24x7 news channels who need content, start creating stuff.
It would be so much more easier if the prime minister would have made a speech to the the people and clarified his n the governments stand. Agreed we are not America, here the leaders talk in the parliament, explain their stand to the elected representatives but do those reprensatives explain it to the people they represent, and do that in the same words, in the same context, do they pass the same message. They don't, they can't, reminds me of that game where people wouod sit in a circle and a message will be passed ear to ear only to find out that the message coming out of the last person to be so diff then the original one, it was hilarious.
What this would also do it would give the media a lesser chance of twisting the words, of taking and quoting them out of context, of blatantly creating stuff up!!!
We see this in corporate world, we have so many townhalls with all top leaders talking to us about how the firm is doing it gets boring...but atleast we are not guessing stuff. Ofcoruse what they say is so vague, its difficult to get a message out of it, and yea, that should be different here. Say what you need to say, in plain terms. And it is difficult, especailly when u have to pass tough messages, when u have to pass messagfes to parties with differnet agendas, but needs to be done.
Team Anna is doing it, and thats why they are getting so much support, why cant our PM? and make it compulsory for each news channel to broadcast it in english n translated in each regional language.
That atleast would be a start to some evident leadership for this country.

Sent from my iPad

corruption n me...!

Blogging on th Moleskin iPad app, love the super expensive Moleskin notebooks, this is not bad either.

Have been forced to watch the Anna Hazare protest as am home n he is fav of my mum, and since it will have long lasting effects am kind of pressured to talk about it. Anyways...

Corruption is of two kinds, one where u want to get something done illegaly, or done as per ur terms, could be faster, easier, more conviniently or sth. For eg, when u get caught on ur bike without papers n pay a bribe to get off...or when u go to a mandir n pay some agent to get u 'special, up close n personal' darshan with God. So this is really corruption seeded by you and Janlokpal bill doesn't do anything to tackle this.

The second is when you want a bribe just to get sth done, not faster, not easier...just get it done. You know, greasing the palms kinds where a govt official (and I refuse to call them public servants, its just to degrading) asks for money to get you ur IT returns money...that kinds.

So first i think the concept of corruption started with the first way, and secondly, i don't think there is a pure no 2 category ever. Its always u get some money, I get this done faster.

Justifications for 1 are many...1.2 billion people, there is a queue everywhere, if i have money n get better service, whats wrong with that, rules are general, and archaic, they shouldnt apply to me and so on...well true, but really look inside urself and u'll realize, mostly its just for convinience, for taking the easy route out that you bribe. I haven't changed my enfields number to match the registration no, its my laziness, but the excuse i make is that the system gave me the wrong number in the first place...well so it did, system comes out of you!

I believe tackling 1 is more important then 2, because that is the foundation, if no one wants to give a bribe, lega kaun, and then you will have a justification for protesting. Today, all of these protests are just seem very .... You give bribes on one hand...and will keep on doing so but on other hand want to prosecute those who take them, and frankly, they, the bribe takers have more of a justification for taking bribes...they, the so called 'public servants' earn very little for the service they give you. A police commisionare, after a life time spent to be where he is, a life full of mortal risks and living scared, gets 1\3 of what i do after just 4 years of a party life. They take more crucial decisions, life is far more difficult and requires more hard work, then why. And so is it wrong if they make a bit on the side...it is, but its seems more acceptable then u paying a bribe on being caught for drunk driving, doesnt it?

So my point, instead of persecuting those who take bribes, teach Indians to earn their living. Teach us that its not ok to take the easy way out, jugaad is not justified. And yes, prosecute all those who do these multi thousnd crore scams.. There is not justification for thats, its just pure greed.

The Janlokpal bill will help ofcourse, but its not a solution to everything. It might ensure that big time scams reduce over a period of time, but it is not something which will bring down corruption organically, but more by force, and whether that will last is a question.

And my disliking for mr Anna Hazare...well he is gandhi like, and dont get me wrong, i am a big admirer of Gandhi, my issue is with marketing...more n more, the protest looks like a giant marketing effort, and the problem with that is the susbstance gets lost in the gloss...the common man, who really is a follower just goes where the loudest loudspeaker is...not really caring about what aspect of corruption if any are they blaring about. And frankly, the support being shown is really a support against corruption n not for Anna. He is just riding the wave, hopefully as this economist story points out, we don't end up changing our constituion without enough debate because of this farce of a protest. Another major issue is i dont like anyone who armtwists anyone, and that is what this protest has become, our way or no way...hate that, even if its with the govt. And frankly, I appreciate our govt, media gives their 20% bad work 80% attention, but misses out on the 80% work which has ensured this country is atleast governed, badly maybe but not an anarchy still!

And why should his bill not go through the constitutional processes, if he thinks they are inadequate, change the processes, don't circumvent them. And i really dont agree with the argument that he has support, well people dont know, they are against corruption, and Anna is just a medium, they are not really with Anna. There is a line in the American President, something about people in a desert drinking sand because they dont know the difference between water n sand, and thats true but also because all they are getting is sand!

Everyone should have a viewpoint, everyone has the right to propogate that viewpoint, we have enough processes to ensure the viewpoints are heard n debated n the best chosen, just put the bill in front of the standing comittee n let them do their job!

Bad handling by the govt, but lets not make the country suffer because of that...!

PS: no spell check in Moleskin app, like the notebook..:)

already a long post but some more...

I think a good alternative to bribing is tipping...there is subtle but big different, bribe is giving money upfront to ensure a good service, tip is giving after the fact, to reward a good service. 

an anecdote that has happened twice and i have been relating over the past week...got caught without papers twice. Both time it was more on technicality really, once the PUC certificate had expired by a week, second time the number on my enfield was diff then on the RC book...anyways so I knew am wrong in letter, but not really in spirit...so argued that. The two cops (a young arrogant one who does the dirty work, and an older guy who stands as the moral authority always) wouldn't even hear me out. First they pretended they didn't know English or Hindi, then would just keep on walking about as soon as i would start explaining. After 5 mins became very apparent they wanted bribes... problem is that i decided on both occasions i won't give money, and so the stand off continued. It takes about 15 - 30 mins of silence on both sides for them to relent, finally they let you go, and this time they did. I on my part always make sure that i kind of shake hands with them with a very cheeky grin on my face, and tell them 'thankyou, right thing you did' kinds. always. 

anyways, lots of 'points' i can make out of this, but ur bored, so shall spare you. 

laters...

Post Perfection!!!

"Bam...right in the face this time...life hits him again, and flat on his face he falls. Will he be able to get up"

the first thing which came into my head when something happened last week, surprising how now that anything happens, the first thing that comes into your (or at least my head) is a status update. :D. Call it the age of vanity. anyways this was too personal for FB so putting it here. 

so the post is gonna be about random short stuff, because life has been random, and incidents have been short, so short that converting them into stories would require a lot of creativity on my part. 

anyways, was watching Singham the other day, crappy movie on the face, but it was a lazy saturday with nothing really coming on the idiot box so…and also the fact that a lot of the yuppie IT crowd had recommended the movie. so well was watching with a couple of friends sisters et al…and as i sat through the movie, something stuck me. the idiotic, full of physics defying stands and crude half hindi half marath dialogues movie was actually inspiring me. well now i started paying attention. No doubt this was a product of the new found marketing skills of Bollywood, but the movie was also having a very unconscious effect on me. The movie was kinda appealing to my revolutionary, fight agains injustice, gandhian bosean self. and since the movie was such  huge hit, it must have for some other people as well.

well i also remembered something I read about the ongoing UK riots, a story which said that everyone is asking the reason for the riots, but there were signs of the build up for the longest of time, you just had to know where to look. there were many fiction books n movies made which pointed to the growing rife in the UK society. With all the stuff join on in India right now, am wondering if this is one of those fictional cultural creations which appeals to indian peoples sense of frustration with the system. Will have to wait n watch.

what else, on a personal front, i did sth a couple of weeks ago, which had some people very close to me questioning my basic fundas of life. Basic funds # 1 - Do good, why because thats the only way to live. Funda # 2 - Don't expect anything, why, because otherwise you will always be disappointed, this way you can only be surprised. 

anyways so both funds got questioned a lot, was told that the above two are good, but in moderation, do it only for people who care and not for everyone. Value urself was what i was told. Somehow to my head whatever shaitan says makes sense, but my soul doesn't understand it at all. For me its simple, i don't believe in gaining respect or love or care or affection or anything by having to ask for it, and here asking is not just really asking, but all the power games that people play, the 'bhaav khana' types. I don't understand that, find it shallow and a waste of time. My fundas is simple, you should earn ur respect, not demand it. and secondly, you shouldn't really put a value to urself, others should. What's the point of saying 'I am important' or making others say 'I am important' by arm twisting them using different techniques, doesn't stay, and if it does, that feel good feeling you get out of it is not real. rather, earn ur respect, and love and affection, and it will always stay. and of course, when i say all this, people say you believe in Karma, and i am like thats just a feel good excuse you make to urself when u get disappointed, just keep on doing what you gotta do, rest don't bother. The one thing that you will have following the above is satisfaction and a lack of guilt, u'll feel good about urself, and that gives you peace more then anything else. and methinks peace is all the that matters really. 

raining really heavily now, already finished a cup of tulsi tea, wondering if should get some coffee and ruin my sleep for tonight, anyways not gonna do anything early tomorrow. 

so i have written this somewhere before, moments of clarity or something. I have had two till now, well till the last week at least…one was when i let go of someone and clearly saw my life going down the drain, another when i had the hope of getting that same person back…many many years later, and saw everything coming back to how i wanted it to be. anyways moments of clarity are awesome, they are pure white, there is not a spec of grey in there. you are so sure of what needs to be done, and how things will pan out and how life will be, it exhilarating. its almost as if you have already lived that life and seeing it in flashback. 

had one this last week, something happened, and i saw my life clearly, and was a beautiful sight.  Didn't last long, and more then me, its someone else's loss, but was awesome to see hope back again in life, even if just for a week. Rejuvenated me to quiet some extent. someday when its a bit stale, i shall write about the incident and the entire farce of arranged marriages. ;)

so do you think with your heart or do you think with your head? i am a very very instinctive touchy feeling sorta guy, so its all heart with me. and decisions of the heart are instant, there are not factor to consider, not weighing options and all, its all done in the unconscious, you just know the answer. And so for me, either i make decisions in seconds, or i will never be able to decide, because when my heart is not sure, the head comes in, and gets so confused with all the facts that never know what to choose. last week was one of those decision in a fraction of second week, sadly someone else was thinking with her head. 

anyways, lots bull crap written for now, laters. 

its nice that after just 3 posts in the first two thirds of the year, i have two in the last week. and am in the mood to write more. Credit it to the 'almost' week. :)

and as for the 'will he be able to get up, fucking yea I will!!! Might not be a lot of thing, n short, but one thing i am is defiant. In this battle with life, either i win or die fighting, which come to think of it will be life winning, still!!!

missing goofy...

My life is full of stories or maybe i just make every incident into a story...in any case this was worth sharing...

A friend lost her dog almost a month back...a beautiful lab. If ur a dog lover n have had pets you know it means far more then loosing an inanimate object and just a notch less then loosing a kid!!

And for her, it meant even more because it was her dog, and only her's, she went through a lot to get it, was one of the few living things she calls her own.

anyways, so the first question in my head, 'How do you loose a dog'. Well aparently, its easy, and happens quiet often. Her mum took him for a walk, and on seeing some other dogs, it just bolted. By the time back she could contact my friend who was out n came back n started searching, it had disappeared without a trace. As i write this, am wondering what trace would a lost dog in a big city leave anyways, and what signs do you look out for. These r the things you think about only when the situation arrises.

so that started a fortnight of searching every possible location we could think of. Combing that and all other surrounding areas, every morning and every evening going up to well past midnight everyday...the thing with loosing a dog is, what do u say at work...have to take a two week off because i lost my dog...doesnt work. Anyways first it was the manual search, then was the spreading the word phase and finally putting up posters n sharing on fb and all...

Everyone, including me, had some gyaan to give, first 24 hours the general line was 'its a pet dog, they always come back', next 48 were, 'its a confusing area, must have got lost' which changed into 'must have been stolen, was a well bred dog, n they are expensive' and so it went till everyone became quiet and the anxiety of not finding him turned into hopelessness!

My friend was stoic throughout, because like any libran, we internalise our pains, we find it too trivial and beneath us to express it, but it stays with us. The magnitude of expression is always muted, and we are never hopeful too much for the fear of jinxing it and because we hate disappointments, as she said once, it would shatter her!

She too stopped talking anout him, but only if you looked beyond those laughs, u'd see the pain.

The thing with loosing someone is that there is no closure. It is worse then someone dying, because you can never make ur peace with it. You are forever hopeful, even if with time the intensity goes down. If someones dies, you can remember the good times and you can have your regrets...if you loose someone, there is always the 'if it comes back i will...' mindset. And even worse is that every small sign which ignites the hope of youfinding bring back all the anxiety and finally the disappointment n pain.

And this story, is about such an incident...i was involved so writing about it!

So the other day, a friend of hers hears about two guys finding a dog on Radio Indigo, they had searched for its owner and finally left it at Karuna for adoption. So since i know people at CUPA, I get a call to inquire and i do. Nope, both Karuna and CUPA haven't got a dog. So anyways next call the guy who announced the message on Radio Indigo, a guy who finally turned out to be a 8th Std kid with pharatedaar english and a mobile phone. So he gives me the entire story, they found an abandoned dog, and thought it was someone else's dog, but it wasn't, n then they searched the entire society for its owner, and since he already had a black lab at home, they just decided to give it up for adoption. and so ended up at Karuna. He tells me that dogs get adopted quite quickly from there so i should check, and so I say i will...

so i start, midway the kid starts sending me msg's that he wants to come as well...so i ask his address...'Last Bus Stop, some area i have never heard of, Bangalore (thankfully). so anyways i start, in 6:30 PM traffic, reach an area that i have never heard of, thanks to Google maps on BB. thankfully no rains that day. Pick up the kid, he calls his 'first time sitting on a bike' as 'long time i have sat on a bike', and in answer to how did you get an announcement done on radio Indigo, his answer 'well, lets just say i have contact." :D. 

Anyways so we start towards Karuna, and if getting to the kid was difficult, this i wouldn't like to describe. Reach Karuna, and there are about 4-5 chowkidars and registrars and people sitting, but no docs so can't see the dog. I am almost pissed, try negotiating, arguing, giving some money, but to no avail. One thing I have seen about people, they don't really understand Logic, rules are rules, and need to be upheld, not because they are sacred, but because the seniors won't like them breaking it. Not sure if its bangalore or uneducated class...

anyways finally got my friend (dogs owner) to talk to the guy in Kannada (always works), she threatened with some names (chairman of karuna was one i think, anyways this also always works) and finally the dude calls the doc, who takes another hour to get there and i finally get to see 'the dog'.

so Karuna, its a adoption center, but looks more like a dog jail, long corridors with cages lined up on both sides, stinking of howling dogs. get to the cage, F-07 i think, and out comes the dog...and it has all the markings. Looks like goof, red collar, hairless burn marks in its leg pits...am like 95% sure its him. 

so take out the iPhone to take some pics and send to friend, and of course when i need it the most, my iPhone dies. Take pics from BB, but no way to send them out. Mail attachment limitations...so anyways can't do much at that point, so start back to drop the kid...drop him, finally come back to my sis's place very close to Karuna. and get bashed up by her, but more about that sometime later.

Next morning, i go back to my place, and the friend comes to confirm if its her dog. I reach home, and get 4 missed calls from unknown number, finally pick up, and this guy tells me that he works at BIA, and had adopted the dog in F-07 but officials there are not letting him take him. So he's like, even if ur dog, I would like to adopt it. and I am like 'balls'!!!

so call the friend, she rushes to Karuna, and confirm he is not her dog. Yep, not her dog. So she is there on her knees calling him by his name, hoping against hope that he will respond, the guy who adopted him day before is there looking all pleased that he will be able to take him home, and then the final twist, a third guy turns up, lost his dog in the same area this one was rescued from...he comes, shouts once 'Simba' and the dog runs and lies on his feet!!!

so after all the drama, and bad endings for everyone, at least it ended well for the dog! It was a long story, but when was happening was like one of those movies where one thing leads to another and story gets murkier by the scene.