there are some basic natures, basic instincts, its in our DNA and cannot be changed, at least not in this iteration...maybe in the next 100 generations it might, and even today it is changing, becoming less evident then it used to be but is still there.
and at the gender level, its the most evident.
both sexes have a very basic nature, if u peel away the layers, right down to the core, the basic requirements and offerings are the same.
females require security, not only for them but also for their children from a male, and they would sacrifice and compromise on everything else, career, ambitions, dreams about almost everything, to get that.
Males require support for what they do, backing and reinforcement in form of appreciation, for all they do.
i have seen girls who are damn ambitious, would fight for every mark in college, would dream about getting the most salaries, and study, and use all methods possible to get it, would be really diplomatic and hardworking, to make sure they progress and reach their goals, and girls as capable as they are and as good at they are at handling the other sex, they always progress faster then guys do. but the same girls once they get married, which by the way is one of the basic dreams, once that dream is fulfilled are happy to compromise, actually they don't even compromise, because that's something u do consciously, they are happy to live the less ambitious life, be a home maker (n in today's world it means taking care of the home, hubby and also doing a job which i don't think any of guys would ever be able to manage). but they don't stay as ambitious, as focused on personal progress, many let go of their bodies, which they were obsessed with earlier, many live a life of gossip, which they wouldn't earlier. its a basic instinct.
a guy, looks for backing. i have seen and been a guy, who would be the happiest when doing things for his better half, for his love, his wife. and if it is appreciated, if he see it making a difference to better half's live, nothing would make him happier. its a basic and very core build in him. even for his ambitions, he wants enforcements, he wants to be pushed by his love to even achieve the dreams and ideas which are as such his. the girl, gives that push, because at a very sub conscious level, she knows, achieving those dreams will give her more security.
these are basic animal natures, and as much as we progress, try to change it, at some corner these natures always rule us. how ever parochial this sounds, how ever mcp'ish this sounds, its true.
its also a reason of many conflicts, because we are trying to change our basic architecture. there is nothing wrong with it, it should be done. but the problem is that the female sex is moving faster in this direction then their counter parts. girls are chaining their cores, they want everything, they was a good married life and also are ambitious about their careers now, they are moving slow, and many instances of the female sex give up because of the beatings of life, but some do go ahead. the problem is that guys are not moving forwards, they still think that they are the providers and still have this basic need for appreciation.
the idle situation will be when there is not difference between a girl and a guy, in a relationship, when one needs support the other provides it and is appreciated, when both can be vulnerable at one point, and provide strength at the other. the problem with this idle situation is what when both require support, or when both are successful and require to be appreciated. in the past, it always used to be the guy who was successful, and who would provide the support, that's why guys were told 'never to cry'. and so it worked well, i am not saying that's how it should be, that's not how it should be, but at least the roles were defined. now in the new idle situation, the roles will not be defined, and so their will be conflicts,
as for me, i'd rather be in the roles not defined world with conflicts, rather the being the provider at all times. i want to be the 'weaker sex' at some things, and want to be with some one who can be the 'weaker sex' at other times.
PS...this is a blog which has come, after a long time, has come out of my heart, have been thinking about this for long, and the idle situation is close to replacing the male instincts as a basic core build, but don't think will every be 100%...it all comes down to what u can make ur peace with, what kind of life u can live with. it u don't live that life, and don't make peace with the life ur living, it will simply suffocate you.