anything which passes through my head, my thoughts, ideas, experiments, confusions, contradictions and hopefully some, by the end atleast some, conclusions, truths.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, phishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
A quote from Trainspotting, a cult movie bye Boyle. Sarcastic in tone...and capturing the essence of what our generation vies for...
It’s a paradox...the things we are proud off or the things we want to be known for are the ones which are injurious to us most...smoke, dop*ng, studgiri...et al. all kill, and all are exciting enuf for u to risk killing urself.
Anyways the heading is choose health...and why, well because I started gyming again and also started yoga / breathing excersises again, and its heaven. Well gyming is painful, but still it made me get up at 6 after ages, imagine my surprise when I looked out of the window and saw total darkness, I used to think sunrise was at 5:45!!! And I got to see dawn, my favorite part of the day, and I got to feel the cool breeze of early morning, and those faint sounds which get totally lost in the 100 mt sprint of the day. Gyming is gratifying, done in the morning, ur body hurts and u feel u already have achieved something for the day, the day is not gonna be a total waste. Plus u, ateast I, drink liters of waters, and that cleanses ur body. The one thing I ask anyone to do to improve the quality of their life, to get somewhere, to get moving, is to exercise in the morning, it is one of those things which kicks off ur day in the right direction, changes ur mood for the better.
then there is the breathing excersises, i used to do those prescribed by ramdev baba, but switched to sri sri ravishankar version, objective of all these are the same, deep continous prolonged breathing sessions. and they work, i rememver a ramdev baba saying that it fill every cell of ur body with oxygen and refreshes every cell. very true, i have felt it. u feel energy gushing out of u. and u know what, done properly, ur lungs start burning, ur head spins sometimes, and i genuinely think it helps loose weight as well. and know what, with all the lungh cleaning, the drags are deeper, more satisfying.
And as for feeling like in heaven, that’s yoga. I have always been fascinated with yoga, my first yoga experience was in 7th, when I was in a school where yoga was a culture. It was an afternoon school and one day suddenly, before an exam was going to start, there was an announcement that we all were going to some dhyaan before the exam to help us concentrate. I was so amused, kept my eyes open all the time and was just noticing people and amusing myself, at that point I thought I was cool, today I know that I was too self conscious and scared to close my eyes, I was too afraid of being vulnerable, when I thought I was overconfident and better than others, I was really just scared of what people might think of me. it takes guts to close ur eyes and stand surrounded by people, it takes a level of self confidence which assures u that nothing bad can happen to you, which can overcome ur deepest fears. We do this exercise, stand on one leg, fold the other at knee such that it touches ur bum, and then hold both ur hands out....try balancing, easy, great now close ur eyes. Still easy, no right. And if u wanna know why, try concentrating on ur thoughts, there will be lots of anxious thoughts, because ur vulnerable. Every small sound, every whiff of perfume (or sweat, it is in a gym afterall), every high note on a song playing will disturb ur balance.
Anyways so that’s how I got started. Yoga, or actually dhyaan, as practiced by many is to close ur eyes, sit in an erect position and then try and concentrate on something, that never worked for me. I chave a shorter then short span of concentration (attending deficit syndorme??!?), can’t sit steady at a place, that too with my eyes closed. Also when I started out, I was more tense about following all the instructions, keep ur eyes closes, sit in padma asan, body erect, hands on ur knees et al...never could do it. Then realized that any of that doesn’t matter. U can never get to that state if ur thinking of all these things. That state is where u don’t get any thoughts in you head, so how can u get there with all these thoughts there already making house. Where every thing becomes white, u forget everything, nothing concerns u, you don’t consciously notice anything. that state is true dhyaan. And for me that state comes only if i close my eyes, and sit long enough. Anywhere. Anytime. All u have to do is sit long enough. Don’t try and stop the thoughts, just sit, if there are thoughts coming, acknowledge them, or ignore them, ur choice, but don’t force ur reactions. It should be natural. Slowly, and not in that same session maybe, but surely over a period of time, the thoughts will cease to come, and then u start floating.
Yes I have floated, I have felt so light that I actually have tried to hold down my body, wondering many times ‘am I already flying’ . I have seen colors with my eyes closes, brilliant compositiosn of vibrant colors, I have seen those hallucgenic graphics that come with winamp visualizations, and they feel like they are right in front of ur eyes, bright and clear. In that state I can remember every name, every face I have ever met, which otherwise I can never. I can recall incidents which happened ages ago, I get realizations and conclusions which at that point seem so natural, but at other times would have never come. you feel like ur high (yes you do, I know, but don’t tell anyone), you feel at peace.
So much so, that u don’t wanna get out of it, u don’t want to open ur eyes, my body slumps, and I go into a conscious sleep, and it’s the best sleep u can get. Its sadi that 15 mins of that sleep can compensate for 2 hours of regular sleep. And I think it does. Once u open ur eyes, there is ecstatic joy u feel.
Try it, it’s a challenge to get there, but believe me, once u reach that state, u’ll get hooked, addicted. U’d want ur fix everyday, twice maybe. And the good thing about this, it doesn’t harm. so choose life...start with ur health.