Tuesday, August 28, 2007

comfort zone...

i have heard many well traveled people crib about how americans are two faced, they are not true, well don't know about that. been here only couple of months which is a very short time for me to make such judgements.

but i have seen something about which a friend mentioned long time back, when she came to US. mentioned that people are too polite, they hold doors open for you, they apologize for no particular reason (the often heard 'excuse me' which seems to be the tongue tip term here). it sometimes gets on your nerve, becomes really irritating. but then thats because we come from a culture where u apologize and expect to be rewarded for it, where apologies are more of an obligation put on someone then an apology.

anyways i guess its about making someone comfortable, and not unnecessarily taking them out of their comfort zones. walking down the roads, never do people walk so fast that they bump into each other, there is always this gap between the crowds, ur bubble* is never pierced.

crossing the roads, even if the lights are red, if someone is walking across, the cabs, would stop for you to cross, even if ur stading on the sidewalk to cross, the cabs stop. and these are yellow taxis moslty driven by asians. on the freeways, even in a traffic jams, there is enough distance between vehicles for a bajaj scooter to park, well i guess in india, that would be the case.

in concerts, and i am comparing a van dyk concert here with aerosmith in india, people let you be, there is no pushing, no fears of falling over the rails. if u wanna go in front people let you, don't have to jostle along.

guess it all comes down to giving you space and not invading it unnecesarily... something i have always missed in india, if u have a sad expression, if ur not speaking as much as you usually do, if ur an introvert, well people there won't let you be. they wouldn't accept you, will poke u asking what happened, kya hua, and make sure u never come out of that mood.

so however two faced americans are, i atleast like this face of theirs, the face which gives people space, and which accepts people as they are.

and by the way, went to the restroom (which i guess is called so because people when they want some alone time or breaks, go into the stalls and sit on the pot) and realized the fact that these people who would try to maintain atleast a two inch bubble around them, and would not stare at people, whatever (smooching so much that they could end up making babies) they are doing, don't think anything about half open stalls, no partitions between urinals and locker rooms which are basically a combined term for open change rooms and showers. how ironic!!!

PS * the bubble thing is basically a theory about everyone having a bubble surrounding them, which defines their comfort zone, the space belonging to them. thats why we get all worked up if someone comes to close to us, or if someone is staring at us, the eyes pierces the bubble. and have u notices, u know it intuitively if someone has been staring, and the instinctive glare you give back, girls would know better.
and a collary is that u let only those people into that bubble u trust and love, thats why a significant others touch or coming close feels so good, u can feel the warmth.

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