its an oxymoron for me, arranged marriage. marriage i always have believed is after love, well actually i truly believe that marriage is not even necessaary. being in love is the only necessity. you might be miles apart, but still can be together. its the thought, the feeling of having someone somewhere which is more important, methinks.
anyways, back to arranged marriages. they are unnatural, they are weird and they are something i cannot get into my head. people say, and i have been told umpteen times, the concept of arranged marriages has changed in india now, now its not that your parents meet, decide on a match, you get to meet once if at all, and they you marry, and u fall in love...hopefully. if you don't, live it, because ur married and ur have committed to it. well thats simply making two people live under the same roof by force, not by their will, and after sometime they are resigned to their fate. and then finally once they have given up, they get used to it, and a habit is formed. i call it love by habit....its not love, its just a habit you form...
no no no...arranged marriages have changed, now you get to meet the girl / guy before hand, you get to gauge them, you get to know 'em, you get to connect with 'em, you get to find out your compatibility with them. Bull shit.
its still the same, yes you get to meet them before hand, but its so unnatural. its awkward, you are not urself, and neither is the other person. you are looking for things, you already have set your standards, what you want and what you don't want, and so you miss out on what you might get. there are always the practical things coming in your head, how much money does he make, does she look good enough, will he/she care for my parents...you gauge all of this through a QnA session. and answers never tell the whole truth.
when you fall in love, its always by accident, u never expect to fall in love with a person, it just happens, sometimes without you even knowing about it. you like the good things, but you don't question the bad things. you just fall in love, practical things don't come in, its just ur heart thinking, ur head doesn't come into the picture for a long time, and the third body part for a longer time, hopefully...
love is always pure, both the good and bad are pure, from the heart, natural. arranged marriage is just unnatural.
i always rememeber that scene from Hyderabad Blues, where the to be couple are sitting on the couch, staring at the floor. and that i juxtapose with that new coca cola ad with aamir khan, where a couple gets their parents to meet. i like the movie, but i would any day prefer the ad situation.
this is a putting it out there post...enjoy!!!
btw some terms that make sense, arranged love, love by habit.
attended a debated on 'arranged marriages work afterall...'the after all part makes it really interesting. this was followed by thoughts shared by which were kinda different and made a lot of sense and got me thinking...
so for the sake of a debate here are some thoughts...