Sunday, December 28, 2008

ironies in the life of a bespectacled man...

of all people wearing specs i believe. apolgies for the sexist 'bespectacled man' but then it is about me, although through me, i am trying to tell the stories of everyone with four eyes...(thats what friends in school used to call me)
anyways, back to the topic. i wear specs, have a high power, and cylindrical, which basically means me grazing on a tonne of carrots is not gonna make any difference, its gonna stay, almost constant, throughout my life. its almost an extended part of my body now...but unlike my body parts, i can change the look of it from time to time. and i did just that today. got myself a new pair of eyes. 
took a friend along, who helped me choose the frame...well chose it for me, because....
irony no 1 - to try out new frames, u have to take of ur existing specs, and judeg urself with the new frame...but ur not wearing ur u can't see that well...and so how do u choose ur new specs!!! but then we, the bespectacled four eye geeks...we are good at the art of estimation...
but even estimation doesn't help when u go for haircuts...mine are already short, how much can u estimate. so the basic two instructions a slope. good enuf, works most of the time, i come out looking the same almost everytime, not many times have had accidents which make people laugh. but irony no 2 happens at the barbers shop...mostly after the barber (sounds weird calling him/her that, but there is no other better word) has done the damage, he and once she, brings out this huge rectangular mirror, and puts it behind ur head, at a 30 deg angle, and then they expect ur weakend eyesight to go from ur eyes to the mirror in front and reflect back to the 30 deg mirror...thats almost 2 feet...u think if i could see that much, i wouldn't be wearing specs...but alas that never strikes. they still hold the mirror, and look at u, expecting a compliment even...after many years of going through the amusing torture...i just nod along, and he holds it on the other side again, 30% from the perpendicular. (which now that i think of it is totally absurd, which dumb ass barber will cut keep ur hair long on one side and short on another, well maybe its their small 'bored with cutting hair all day long, lets play a prank, he is anyways blind without the specs, will even show him with the 30 deg mirror' thing. its like a double joke on poor me).  
the third irony is well something which happens with me every third day, its so basic, and frustrates the most. loosing ur do u search for ur specs without wearing ur specs!!! its amusing...and slowly very frustrating...i actually have many times gone feeling the entire place like a blind man.  at that point u know the value of another bespectacled roomie...who competely understood the pain and would come running to help u out, wherever he was...ah i miss shinde.
i am sure there are more ironies...more amusements like the realisations when ur specs get wet in the rains...its like looking out of a window during rains...just that the window is about half an inch from ur eyes...and every drop is like a lense in itself. or the major decision u have to take when driving in i take off my specs and drive by estimation (not very safe) or do it keep them on and still drive by estimation....kua and khai kinds!!!
what ever, i am not going for the laser surgery thingy...even if my corneas are thick enuf.
take care.

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