Wednesday, July 30, 2014

about silence, loneliness, introversion and all those awesome things...

and I thought it had been more than a year...started writing many times, on paper and in mail, in an iPad journal and in here...somehow after the first few lines, mind would just go blank. there was an idea, but it stopped at that idea, and then there were many lines, but nothing to tie them together. Thought it would never come back, not sure if has as yet though...lets wait n see. 

so many triggers for this one...reading about writers block and there was a line about how for writers silence and being alone is paramount, but the irony is that they, because of all the silence, are the most bored creatures in the world.

reading about introversion, explaining it to a friend, and realising that I maybe was not the 100% introvert that Miss Myers and Miss Briggs made me out to be, not anymore at least. damn I thought, was good to be the rarest of rare, the 1% of all male population, the highly mysterious INFJ...

So what am I talking about, well its gonna be random, but the idea is to drill in the importance of being silent, why its so awesome, and why people don't like it. It so awesome because silence is the precursor to thinking, and thinking is the precursor to so much realization. Silence leads to intuition, because intuition is something within you, and if you are not silent, you can never hear your own self. Ah, see came up with an oxymoron...telling you, am getting there. :)

but back to the topic, introverts are said to be far more connected to their own self, and in many ways to everyone around them, they somehow can sense what is going on, and silence plays a big part in it. Being silent gives you a chance not only to listen, but to process something...being silent gives you the time to look at different angles of a thought, It gives you time to develop an idea, because an idea, a though is like this self mutating bulbulous alien like creature which grows organically, it just needs to be given space and time...and being silent gives that. 

Have you ever realised that voice (and gestures of course) are the only way that you express yourself, and if you take that away, if you take the only way of expressing yourself away, you have to internalize that expression. You have to live with your thoughts, you have to face them, digest them and at some point, make your peace with them. A recent research showed that for most people it was impossible to stay with themselves for 15 minutes or more...they would just explode inside. And if you do dhyaan, you'd know what I am talking about. But once you have made your peace, that is when you are at peace, and that stage is so beautiful and serene. 

I used to love being an introvert, i was never scared of spending time with myself, and I used to be always looked down upon, so many cultures in our society look down on introverts, people who keep quiet, people who prefer themselves over others. its taken as a sign of dumbness, as a sign of haughtiness, as a sign of weirdness. But we are as normal as you, and infinitely more connected. 
The social pressures, and the environments we survive in, are not built for introverts. I had to change mostly because of my job, realising that my progress in the role I was in was very much tied to how much I talk. And then friends came in, and even though they accepted my introversion, as some point I got used to talking, and at that point, a part of me started dying. It was taken over by someone I didn't really like, because he didn't have that depth or passion or conviction. 

this is me trying to revive that part of me, bring it back to life, and in turn make myself a bit comatose for the external world....

this is me going quiet!!!

PS: yes this is nothing but me just barfing all over the place, but well atleast I kept it short. Its like there have been these 100 thoughts swimming around, and I had to just pour the liquid out...(visualising me tilting my brain and all the brain fluid with the swimming fish like ideas just draining out). 
anyways hopefully next time will be better, and soon..lots of movies to write about!!!
still confused with then/than & a/an year, somethings don't change... ;-/

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