had a agile project management session to attend early morning one of the days last week...and as much as I try, I am either very early, or quite late for these sessions...well it was the latter this time, but then instead of attending the session had a free wheeling gyaan discussion with (for the lack of a better term) the office ladies, and said out some fundas out open.
one of the things I mentioned was how women are always ready to take help from other women, people in general when in a problem. Or even when they don't want to do something...gave the example of my mum, who in 5 years of scooty driving never, even once filled fuel in it herself, always used to be me. well thats just the build up for the example, whenever her scooty would break down on the road, and with vehicles at that time, it was quite often, the scooty overflow ho gaayi hai problem required multiple kickstarts, and mom would always get some passerby to help her out. Always!!! She has even got people to push the scooty to a puncture shop and get the puncture done. I thought it was my mum's smartness, but the office ladies tell me, thats with all women.
well so that was just a point I made, the real observation is that the younger generation, the girls who are between 18 - 22 maybe, even till 24 - 25, don't take help. They don't ask for it, they don't take it if offered, you almost need to force them to take. Remember this incident with a significant other long time back, when we had just started getting close, her scooty got punctured and she didn't call me, till it became to difficult for her to push the vehicle. and so I was thinking why is that...why in latter stages, it becomes easy for you to ask for help then when you are young...is it because you have that arrogance which only a young person can have, the arrogance of not being defeated by life at every day battles, or maybe in the case of girls, its just a feminist streak which is always present when they are young, the I can do everything on my own attitude, which really comes out of maybe their fathers and brothers and all telling them, arrey tum yea nahi kar sakti, yea ladkiyon ka kaam nahi hai...don't know what exactly, but this is for sure, as you experience life, this fundas that youngsters have in their heads, out of watching movies, or out of unrealized ideals, start breaking down a bit.
another example, there is someone in my team, quite young, same category as I was 5 years ago, not arrogant, but quite uptight. Organized a fun event some time back, the idea was for everyone to have fun, but my dear mix breed wanted to enforce the rules...and i was like, let them have fun. and then realized, that at some time many years ago, I was exactly like that, today am not at al. I too was a control freak, I too was very idealistic, I too was very arrogant and I too was very very brash, but then again, as you experience life more and more, that arrogance kind of tempers down.
so do i like myself more now then I did back then, well not sure. At that point there were not consequences, there was just do it kinda attitude, there was not caring what might happen, what people will say kinds...just the will to do something. Today, I know of the consequences, but what I like is, even though knowing what might happen, I keep on pushing the barriers, doing what I really want to...and that I am proud of!
well not really connected to what ever BS I typed out above, another thing I realized is how scared people are to even risk breaking those unwritten, undefined rules which exist everywhere. Even for rules which are not defined at al, for these grey areas, the first immediate reaction is not to even enter the grey area, even if in your head you believe you are within your boundaries, and its ok. No, even if its ok, lets not risk it is the default answer.
I have always known what would be acceptable by conventional, orthodox wisdom, and knowing that, am always the one who pushes the boundaries a little bit...bends the rubber band just a enough so that it doesn't break, and still get to do something which stands out. Very very important to do that, to test the waters