day before i visited an old grandfather of mine, 95, almost bedridden and not very senile...i have been seeing him for years now, slowly degrading, lost his hearing many years ago and used hearing aid, and when his wife was alive and very chirpy, when asked how they had survived 75 years of marriage, he used to joke that he would just turn off the hearing aid as soon as she started speaking.
Yesterday he was very different, his son said that for the last week he has been very different, suddenly he has given up the want to live, he now wants to go away was how he put it. I sat next to him for about 15 mins, frail and wrinkly, he spoke to me in pauses, his eyes glazing over from time to time as he recounted his life. he told me about his sons, how they were settled, his wife who had given him everything, and his history of health problems. after every small story he would end it with 'he is now settled and happy' or 'he has this and that' or something like that. basically ending with a happy ending in which 'he' has an asset built up.
assets, those things you toil for all you life, those things which are permanent, long term, which are the fruition of all your hard word, and which you showcase at the end. A house, a business empire, a car, a bank balance, well settled kids, grandkids, even a happy marriage maybe, these are the things that you recount on our death bed, the things that you you have to show for a life well lived....
but then, imagine that life...where you toiled for 22 years to pay off that housing loan, or you lived a compromise of a marriage so that you kid could group up well, what use is all that once you are gone. you are not going to enjoy it, someone else is, but you spent you life building it. you never enjoyed ur life because at the end you wanted those assets...
instead if you had all those small things in life, a lot of small happinesses, a cycle you wanted, a bike you wanted, traveled the world, have the best gadgets always, party whenever you wanted...if you had all the small things which on a daily basis gave you happiness, why wouldn't you choose that over that one home??
its the classic question of what is important to you, the journey or the destination? the journey lasts a lifetime, the destination an hour maybe?
i know i am wrong, i don't know why. any comments explaining why are welcome!!!
take care
dont agree..its always a balance..you can probably be a hippie and say u'll do what you want to do...what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteOr be a guy who makes only money and dies alone with no frnds\family to care for.
Just as a case with ur old relative here- how'd you know he didnt enjoy his life, he might have made compromises for his kids wife etc, but these as well would have given him some satisfaction, some happiness....
point taken...just that i always wonder if all the effort required, all the compromises made are really worth it??!?
ReplyDeleteand thanks for commenting mr shr1
Hahahahaha!!! ?So U finally got others reading them too...good job!! :)
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ReplyDelete:-) good memory you have...nah was just kidding.
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ReplyDeleteRealizing is something and caring is another!!
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hey just saw the comment...so do you care? i am still answering so...
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