anyways first, apologies for the 'look and feel' of the blog, was just messing around, and didn't realise there was no preview mode, lost my original very simple template (which i loved)...and since then just haven't had the heart to even look at the blog, let alone try to restore it.
anyways...that out of the way, as i said, am sick, and have written about being sick before and how you feel about it and stuff...just one thing to add, when ur sick, or when ur actually dying, all your ideals give way. If you can stick by your ideals when they are tested, those then are worth talking about. Your ideals, till they are truly tested in challenging conditions, are just ideals, they are not really principles you live by, but really quotes you would like to live by.
saw this 30 minute documentary about the life of our universe, actually beyond the universe. answered one questions for me, and gave rise to one thought. the question answered was what was there before the big bang, and what is beyond the universe....well before the big bang were other big bangs, and beyond the universe are other universes (where the laws of physics might actually be different). question answered. well, atleast someone tried to address the question.
also today it dawned on me that our lifespan of 80 years or so...is like insignificant in the lifespan of our universes. we are nothing, by degree of time or degree of number (there are about 7 billion of us and thats just counting humans). but still, we try so hard to matter. to leave a name, but its ironical, if you look at the scale of the universe or beyond, that name is nothing. think of from the perspective of that higher being who is maybe controlling everything (if it there isn't one, think there is), for that being, you or i don't really matter. but for you and i, we matter.
also...was suddenly thinking of how if you know where someone is coming from, or where someone has been, or what someone has been through, if you can know the influencers on a person, you can judge a person quiet a bit. simply because we all are just a collection of influences. each of us would have maybe, and just maybe one original thing which is not there anywhere else, in anyone else....and that too might be mostly because of an accident. very very few are actually different because they want to be so, and don't think anyone one is unique at all....
and that unique thing is our contribution to this world, to the universe. It makes sense right, to have such rarity. if it wasn't rare, then we would have progresses so much so quickly, would have hit the peak at 26 (taking a quote from 'in good company'). its like genetics, change is very very slow, over a period of generations, its slow because you cannot predict the outcome, and so it needs time to prune out the bad outcomes. not sure if the same reason applies here.
too vague and arbit...well. Imagine if 10% of the population was einsteins and newtons and such, we would have been where we are today in like one generation, what after that...you would think there is so much to discover, we would have discovered more, but then would we have been able to make sense of what we discovered, would everyone have been able to absorb it, even today when we are going so slow, half the population doesn't know newtons third law, thats after 400 years of its discovery.
another thought is that i always say i want to know everything...but then i never will be. at the most i can know everything that has happened in my lifetime, but there is so much which is going to happen after i am gone. We hear the sun is going to die in 5 billion years, hell, we not gonna be able to see it. so how idiotic is it of me to say 'i want to know everything'.
it all comes down to scale, how high up you look from. how much you want to see and in how much detail. imagine a floor lined with newspaper sheets...if you are at 10cm from the floor of sheets, you can read individual letters, if you are 1 mt you can see individual columns, at 10 mts individual sheets, 100 mts just black and white garbled, at 1 km, just a greyish floor (or maybe a pattern), at 10 km nothing...
its all about at what height you are looking from, and always know this, whatever height you are at, there is a place higher then your spot, from which someone else is watching you. you only part of a game someone is playing....
as i said..am very very sick today!!!
also...was suddenly thinking of how if you know where someone is coming from, or where someone has been, or what someone has been through, if you can know the influencers on a person, you can judge a person quiet a bit. simply because we all are just a collection of influences. each of us would have maybe, and just maybe one original thing which is not there anywhere else, in anyone else....and that too might be mostly because of an accident. very very few are actually different because they want to be so, and don't think anyone one is unique at all....
and that unique thing is our contribution to this world, to the universe. It makes sense right, to have such rarity. if it wasn't rare, then we would have progresses so much so quickly, would have hit the peak at 26 (taking a quote from 'in good company'). its like genetics, change is very very slow, over a period of generations, its slow because you cannot predict the outcome, and so it needs time to prune out the bad outcomes. not sure if the same reason applies here.
too vague and arbit...well. Imagine if 10% of the population was einsteins and newtons and such, we would have been where we are today in like one generation, what after that...you would think there is so much to discover, we would have discovered more, but then would we have been able to make sense of what we discovered, would everyone have been able to absorb it, even today when we are going so slow, half the population doesn't know newtons third law, thats after 400 years of its discovery.
another thought is that i always say i want to know everything...but then i never will be. at the most i can know everything that has happened in my lifetime, but there is so much which is going to happen after i am gone. We hear the sun is going to die in 5 billion years, hell, we not gonna be able to see it. so how idiotic is it of me to say 'i want to know everything'.
it all comes down to scale, how high up you look from. how much you want to see and in how much detail. imagine a floor lined with newspaper sheets...if you are at 10cm from the floor of sheets, you can read individual letters, if you are 1 mt you can see individual columns, at 10 mts individual sheets, 100 mts just black and white garbled, at 1 km, just a greyish floor (or maybe a pattern), at 10 km nothing...
its all about at what height you are looking from, and always know this, whatever height you are at, there is a place higher then your spot, from which someone else is watching you. you only part of a game someone is playing....
as i said..am very very sick today!!!
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