Thursday, July 22, 2010

leap of faith...

have taken two, and then one more, literally...the first was somewhere in the Himalayas, jumped from one rock to another...those roundish huge rocks weathered by the ganga...i remember i thought for like 20 mins...had two or three false tries...and then i just got tired, and made the jump. hobbled once on landing, but then stablized and...
the second was an experience. was at the banks of Powai lake, on the IIT side, and there is this huge land mass, then what looks like a very narrow creek, and then another landmass. there were many people there...the creek looked really really tempting, and the mood i was in...
again cam the waiting, staring at the creek, thinking, nope can't do it and walking away, coming back, nope i can't, what will people say....and then i just thought, what the hell. took a quick run and jumped. 
landed right on the edge, it was clayey, my foot started slipping, but thankfully took another short jump and was on firm ground...and then the crowd erupted. people started shouting at me, are you mad and this and that. i was like 'iit kids, why would they shout at me, insanity should be part of the culture here...anyways, the one thing which caught my was a comment by someone, the creek is 10 feet deep or something.
and then the fear set in, the only way back was jumping over the creek again, but then izzat ka sawaal bhi tha, took a deep breath, did a trial run (which people thought was supposed to be an actual jump, and when they realised it wasn't, they thought i chickened out) and then took the leap again, this time with ease, actually shouted out 'fuck, that was easy!!!' after landing. 
and that was my bragging part of the post. now why i am writing this.
when do you take a leap of faith, well when you really really want to do something, when you really feel strongly about something, and when you know what the consequences could be in its entirety, when you know what if it goes wrong, what if it comes good. but you can't really know whats gonna happen, there is this feeling of uncertainty, and when ur just tired of waiting for the fog to clear. you just take the risk.
the thing with these jumps is, that since you don't know whats gonna happen, you give it ur everything. and somewhere in between that leap, an unknown force takes over you and carries you...i remember distinctly that it seemed like i was floating during that jump, time had come to a standstill, my body was not moving, i was just floating, as if something else was carrying me. then comes the landing...and then comes the euphoria out of the realisation that you made it. it is a high not comparable to feel supremely confident, you fell immensely powerful, you feel indestructible, you feel nothing can conquer you, and sometimes if you are weighed down by something previously, you feel liberated.
leaps of faith are important, should be taken once in a while, just to reaffirm urself...for a short period of time you get a very very pure feeling of joy which helps. 
i have no idea why i wrote this post...will add when i do. 

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