everyone wants to get fired, no one wants to quit though...

seems everyone around me has gotten bored of their jobs...they all are unsatisfied. not that the jobs are bad, but they want more..! its become too mundane, too usual. same issues, same talks, not moving forward. 

with the recession, there have been a lot of firings all around, and most of us have at one point or another lived in fear of getting fired. but inside, everyone had this hope that they might get fired, it will give them a chance of starting something new, and if they fail, they would have the bahana of saying, what could i do, i had to. 

none of us right now have the balls to quit and start our own thing, either the time is not right, or the risk profile is too high, or simply, the drive is not there, or too weak to take such an extreme step. 

i read that one thing which stops entrepreneurship is the job we do, there is a security of getting that x grand everymonth in your bank, there is the predictability to life. it comes down to inertia again. 

starting slow doesn't really work, u hardly get the time, after job and the quota of fun which is necessary everyday to get over the job....

anyways hoping that some do quit and take the plunge...success doesn't really matter after that. 

short quick post...

chalo later.

IPL and Elections

I am not into politics, don't like it, don't really understand it, and there fore don't follow it. and i have this thing that i will never vote, or get a voter's id card made for myself, because i don't think there are any candidates i want to vote for. fact is, i am unaware about the candidates and i don't even make an effort to find out. so the excuse given for not voting is just that, an excuse. and i think for a long time it has been an excuse for many.

anyways i do have an opinion about who i would like to see running this country or rather what qualities those who run this country should have. 

how does IPL come in to the picture, well I, for once, really felt strongly when IPL was moved out of the country because of security concerns, or rather, because our country of 1 billion, with the third largest armed force, and 7th largest economy by size, couldn't provide security to two big events. it is a shame. and a blot on the face of congress. I would have made sure both events would have happened, even if my armed forces had to stretch, even if i had to break some rules.

The headlines in TOI that morning summed it up, IPL becomes NRI-PL. there was also this conversation I overheard, people questioning whether we really need the elections. It was funny and sad. 

Congress has always been perceived as a week and meek party, and with this, they surely proved it. During kandahar, i don't think they would have reacted any differently from BJP. But i would still want congress to come to power, why, well because i am one of those Gandhians who believes in socialistic progress, where every gets a fair chance, and if someone can't grab that chance, you pick them up and carry them along, even if u have to slow down. As long as you are moving, its fine, you don't leave anyone behind. 

and thats how Congress thinks, they want progress for everyone, an equality, or atleast a country tending towards equality. It comes out because of their history, they are the ones who won us our freedom, and that came out of principles gandhi and nehru taught us, non violence, struggle et al. Qualities which took away our country's teeth, so much that even when bit again and again, we can bite back. we are content looking at what pakistan based militants do in our county, but even after being given umpteen oppurtunities to attack them, we don't. 

I like the kind of progress congress has helped us make, the slow and steady progress, because its true, and elephant our size, can't run. if it does, it can't for too long, it will tire out, or loose its mental balance. I like the fact that the economy has been controlled and opened slowly. so that everyone gets a chance and everyone gets time to adjust. a very good example is the retail story in India. or even the Cell phone story. 

Congress also has a history, and any party which has been around for such a long time, has some set values, which have been refined over time, some ethics. BJP is just about building that up now. Congress, i believe also looks at the greater, longer term good, BJP does not. i won't even mention the small time regional parties, they are in just for the present elections, who knows where they will be next time around. 

there will be only two reason i would support BJP, one is that they do seems to have guts, balls, atleast modi does, and that is exactly the second reason, if modi becomes prime minister, then maybe yes. ofcourse there are conditions attached, there would have to be a strong leash attached to him, else he will lead to the next partition. but economics wise, action wise, speed wise, i think modi is the right choice for now. for everything, lets give him 5 more years. 

I woul wish congress came into power, and i wish chidambaram would be PM for now. 

ofcouse i won't vote to help make this wish come true.  too cynical (read lazy) for that. i'd rather blog. :-)

take care

ankur

pay it forward...

inspiring little movie...pay it forward. propogates a beautiful idea...do three good things to for three different people everytime someone does something good for you. why, because, even though the world is full of good people, it sucks. its not a great place to live in. so do three good things.

how do you define a good thing, i define is as anything which makes some one smile, it might not show up on their face, but surely there is an imaginary lip in their heads/hearts which parts in a wide smile, or may be there is a dimple formed in that imaginary head cheek. 

in turn, you will smile as well.

and so whats a good deed, giving someone a lift on the way to office is a good deed (without worrying that that person has a needle which he will poke you with and you'll get AIDS, as one of those forwards says, and some people actually believe it), as small as it is. giving a dog biscuits to eat is a good deed, hold the lift for someone, helping someone old with their suitcase is a good deed. you don't need to save the world, just make it a better place for someone. why three...well the movie says so, i don't. do as many as you can. 

who starts...well am sure we all have...and we all are. but still its not that great a place to live in...so i guess talk more about it. inspire others to do more. thats what i am doing here. 

it might sound like sermonizing...but i truly believe we don't talk enough about the good things in life, we talk about crimes and dirty politics and disasters, but we don't talk about the good things people do, the cute things a dog does, those unexpected incidents which make u smile. 

lets talk more about the good things, and lets pay it forward a bit more. 

he he...there is this voice in my head telling me 'phir se gyaan'

take care.

was looking for a link for the movie...and found out so many pages. apparently there is a movement.

PayItForward Movement 

PayItForward Foundation

jim...

its been more the a month since i last wrote...wonder why?

i have written this before, one of the best descriptions of an introver i have heard is that an introver is one who get his/her energy from within. i am one, and have been spending a lot of time now a days with friends. most of my waking hours are around people, friends, colleagues, coffee  wala and random people at the coffee shop and then some more here and there. its been going on for some time now, i have never been truly alone for a long period of time. long enough to get me back to a peaceful state. when ur surrounded by people, you hardly get time to hear what u have to say, most of the time is spent listening to other people, and dealing with small time situations. that harmony that you have with urself is lost. and thats my reason for not blogging now a days, if i don't hear myself, how do i write?

anyways my dog jim is dying...has been for a long time now. he is 16 today, although we don't know his birthdate, i celeberate it the same day as mine, so by that count, he is somewhere between 16 and 17, which in human years is like 80+. dogs are not expected to live beyond 14, and so there was a point in time some years ago, when we as a family started joking around that jimmy to mehman hai, kabhi bhi chala jayega. mom started giving him extra love and care, extra dog biscuits, extra everything. he was scolded less, and taken care off. its been what 3 years now, and sick as it sounds, we still are waiting. some times he seems immortal. he is blind, can't hear, can't stand properly, is daibetic (incidentally dad and jim were diagnosed at the same time, they share medicines and insurance), his hair coat is non existant, his tail is never up and so on....but the dude's spirit has kept him alive. he would sleep 16 hours a day, but you open the fridge, or a can of anything, and he would come running...that was my jimmy. today its changed.

today he has lost the spirit, he doesn't feel like getting up anymore, still looks for food tit bits but doesn't have that zeal to come looking for it. jimmy today just sleeps, and has become distant.  this time around he didn't even recognise me when i got back home this time, and that hurt. just seeing him hurt.

for a long time, we have been discussing euthanasia. mercy killing. who are we taking mercy on? ourselves or jimmy, well both. he is in pain, and sometimes it becomes really frustrating taking care of him.  i always resisted, but then its not i who has to sit besides jim all night long, just to make sure that he sleeps. this time, i suggested it. couldn't see his pain, and couldn't see my parents. my dad being who he is, can't bring his heart to do it, i think in his place, i wouldn't either. time will tell.

letting go of someone you love, even for their good is too difficult. that time immediately after you have let go, its terrible. if u don't have anyone to hold u, its impossible. well, you still survive. as someone said, man can live through anything if there is a strong motivation, or no motivation at all.

also, we always have considered our family size to be 5, mom dad, jim jean, and somewhere, and if lucky, myself.  and jimmy has been a constant companion, a punching bag, and a sounding board. he has been with me through my teens and now...he was the one who would stay awake all night sitting besides me, he was the one who used to bite me, he had that 'hak' on me. could also be because jim knew that he was my favoured dog, the story is that when jim was 5 or something, we go jeanie as a pup, she was this cute little daschund, very notty, still is, and a favourite of everyone. i knew this was gonna happen, and always the rooter (root for...rooter, my english) for the underdog, then weaker being, i decided that jimmy will be favoured by me. and i think, over a period of time he knew that. jeanie, the cute daschund, surely knows it, because she never comes to me when she wants some love, always mom and dad. jim, when he does, comes to me. jimmy was always mine.

can't imagine going home and not having jimmy around. 

later....

ank

choose health..!

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, phishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

 A quote from Trainspotting, a cult movie bye Boyle.  Sarcastic in tone...and capturing the essence of what our generation vies for...

 

It’s a paradox...the things we are proud off or the things we want to be known for are the ones which are injurious to us most...smoke, dop*ng, studgiri...et al. all kill, and all are exciting enuf for u to risk killing urself.

Anyways the heading is choose health...and why, well because I started gyming again and also started yoga / breathing excersises again, and its heaven.  Well gyming is painful, but still it made me get up at 6 after ages, imagine my surprise when I looked out of the window and saw total darkness, I used to think sunrise was at 5:45!!! And I got to see dawn, my favorite part of the day, and I got to feel the cool breeze of early morning, and those faint sounds which get totally lost in the 100 mt sprint of the day.  Gyming is gratifying, done in the morning, ur body hurts and u feel u already have achieved something for the day, the day is not gonna be a total waste.  Plus u, ateast I, drink liters of waters, and that cleanses ur body.  The one thing I ask anyone to do to improve the quality of their life, to get somewhere, to get moving, is to exercise in the morning, it is one of those things which kicks off ur day in the right direction, changes ur mood for the better.

then there is the breathing excersises, i used to do those prescribed by ramdev baba, but switched to sri sri ravishankar version, objective of all these are the same, deep continous prolonged breathing sessions. and they work, i rememver a ramdev baba saying that it fill every cell of ur body with oxygen and refreshes every cell.  very true, i have felt it. u feel energy gushing out of u. and u know what, done properly, ur lungs start burning, ur head spins sometimes, and i genuinely think it helps loose weight as well. and know what, with all the lungh cleaning, the drags are deeper, more satisfying. 

And as for feeling like in heaven, that’s yoga.  I have always been fascinated with yoga, my first yoga experience was in 7^th, when I was in a school where yoga was a culture. It was an afternoon school and one day suddenly, before an exam was going to start, there was an announcement that we all were going to some dhyaan before the exam to help us concentrate.  I was so amused, kept my eyes open all the time and was just noticing people and amusing myself, at that point I thought I was cool, today I know that I was too self conscious and scared to close my eyes, I was too afraid of being vulnerable, when I thought I was overconfident and better than others, I was really just scared of what people might think of me. it takes guts to close ur eyes and stand surrounded by people, it takes a level of self confidence which assures u that nothing bad can happen to you, which can overcome ur deepest fears. We do this exercise, stand on one leg, fold the other at knee such that it touches ur bum, and then hold both ur hands out....try balancing, easy, great now close ur eyes.  Still easy, no right. And if u wanna know why, try concentrating on ur thoughts, there will be lots of anxious thoughts, because ur vulnerable. Every small sound, every whiff of perfume (or sweat, it is in a gym afterall), every high note on a song playing will disturb ur balance.

Anyways so that’s how I got started. Yoga, or actually dhyaan, as practiced by many is to close ur eyes, sit in an erect position and then try and concentrate on something, that never worked for me. I chave a shorter then short span of concentration (attending deficit syndorme??!?), can’t sit steady at a place, that too with my eyes closed. Also when I started out, I was more tense about following all the instructions, keep ur eyes closes, sit in padma asan,  body erect, hands on ur knees et al...never could do it. Then realized that any of that doesn’t matter. U can never get to that state if ur thinking of all these things. That state is where u don’t get any thoughts in you head, so how can u get there with all these thoughts there already making house. Where every thing becomes white, u forget everything, nothing concerns u, you don’t consciously notice anything. that state is true dhyaan. And for me that state comes only if i close my eyes, and sit long enough. Anywhere. Anytime. All u have to do is sit long enough. Don’t try and stop the thoughts, just sit, if there are thoughts coming, acknowledge them, or ignore them, ur choice, but don’t force ur reactions. It should be natural. Slowly, and not in that same session maybe, but surely over a period of time, the thoughts will cease to come, and then u start floating.

Yes I have floated, I have felt so light that I actually have tried to hold down my body, wondering many times ‘am I already flying’ . I have seen colors with my eyes closes, brilliant compositiosn of vibrant colors, I have seen those hallucgenic graphics that come with winamp visualizations, and they feel like they are right in front of ur eyes, bright and clear. In that state I can remember every name, every face I have ever met, which otherwise I can never. I can recall incidents which happened ages ago, I get realizations and conclusions which at that point seem so natural, but at other times would have never come. you feel like ur high (yes you do, I know, but don’t tell anyone), you feel at peace.

So much so, that u don’t wanna get out of it, u don’t want to open ur eyes, my body slumps, and I go into a conscious sleep, and it’s the best sleep u can get. Its sadi that 15 mins of that sleep can compensate for 2 hours of regular sleep. And I think it does. Once u open ur eyes, there is ecstatic joy u feel.

Try it, it’s a challenge to get there, but believe me, once u reach that state, u’ll get hooked, addicted. U’d want ur fix everyday, twice maybe. And the good thing about this, it doesn’t harm.  so choose life...start with ur health.

I get so many ideas, thoughts at my coffee shop, you get to observer so much. guessing it’s because its a watering hole for people from many different strata's, many different worlds, and i am at my observing best when sipping on that hot strong coffee and puffing on that cig

There was this old guy, shivering, wearing a bori material shawl, shivering...quite sane, begging. Well don’t know exactly what he was asking me for, was asking in the local language, but then ur conditioned to assume that someone is begging, the clothes, the tone, the folded hands, the expression, anyways he came to me, my nani through my mom has taught me not to give money, instead give something to eat, so asked uncle (the shopekeeper, should ask his name) to give this guy a cup of tea. He started pouring the tea and then just to reconfirm told the guy he was giving tea, and this old dude, shivering as much as he was, said no. and uncle goes...’usa chai nahi daaru chahiye..’ and I smiled.

So after a night of drinking a guy still wants more. Bangalore is full of them, alcoholics who finish a quarter in a gulp, straight up, neat, and then fall right there in front of the seedy, grilled with a small window shop (known as theka in northern part of the country), and they are there all night, in the cold, on the footpath, passed out, sometimes pissing in their pants. And I wonder why?

Suddenly it struck me when a very good friend of mine told me ‘aaj raat party karte hai’ and I asked why, and he goes ‘if I don’t drink it feels weird, need to drink’.  And it struck me...because they don’t have anything better to do, they are not going anywhere. Drinking, partying helps them pass those hours of nothingness, where if they didn’t have the glass or cig in their hands, would be forced to look at their lives, gaze in to the nothingness...and feel unhappy about it.

It’s just an escape from reality, a life of denial.

The second pic is of a ragpicker lady…she has a schedule, and has a job to do. And is very particular about it. Its like any other job, watching the TV playing in the shop, is the usual break that we all take from our mundane jobs. After about 15 mins, she is back to picking up recyclables.

And yes, she is a photographers dream, her look is amazing.  She is the kind who can easily be on the covers of national geographic some day.

On another note, there is another uncle, hardly can walk, his left hand is paralyzed, but comes for a smoke every day. Can’t light the match so the coffee uncle does so for him, smokes a small goldflake, which tells me he has been smoking for a long long time. He always has a scowl on his face, he is angry with the world. He was disappointed some time back, but today he has lost that hope, today he is just angry. I am not good, ur not good kinds. And I feel sorry, not for him but for the world which does this to people his age. Whatever his history would have been, whatever he must have done to deserve being alone at this age, he doesn’t deserve this, no one at this age does. I am always reminded of my dad, who was good all his life,  always worked to give his family a good life, but circumstances washed away his life’s hard work, even after 53 years of struggling, he is still struggling, and is asking, when will I get my dues. When will my life’s work pay up. He is becoming angry with the world. And I am becoming angry with myself.

so can't find a suitable title for this one...but the post is about some movies i saw over the past two three weeks...starting with rab ne bana di jodi...australia...and ghajini.  also the fact that i am watching this 'chicks on flicks' film review show alongside...a show where two (seemingly hot intellectual girls, but i really think its not really their thoughts but a script they are reading from) review a whole lot of flicks...good thing about the show, they review movies from different sources, different genres...so you atleast you get a preview of different movies, but then the reviews are not really good, they are the abstract kinds, where u can't really make any sense of the movie, whether is a good watch, what kind of mood will it go with et al...just a lot of big words and abstract thoughts.

good reviews are by Rajiv Masand on CNN-IBN, very articulate, captures the essence of the movie. he looks from both the film makers point of view, what s/he's thought process was, and whether s/he was able to implement it, and also from the viewers point of view. 

so anyways coming back to what i think about the flicks i saw...

and well i really don't wanna think about ghajini...makes me angry. so much hype...an aamir khan movie and such a disaapointment. nothing in he movie...the story line was just like the preface of a movie...it was never baked, developed. the characters, well Asin's characters was developed quite well...but what was the relevance to the story? Aamir Khan, running Airtel's hindi movie version, and goes to choose hoardings??!?, and wears half sleeve shirts with tie's?  you know what, its like aamir spent 2 years building his superbly shaped body...but it seems like didn't use his brains at all for this movie.

Aamir Khan, since last three four years, actually since he marketed lagaan for oscars, has understood the value of selling a movie, marketing even, but it seems in the process he forgot the ideals he used to make movies by, he seems to be concentrating more on what needs to be shown on the screens for the audience to like it then on what he wants to show the audience.  not good.

rab ne bana di jodi...well frankly coming from adi chopra, this is a dissapointement. nothing wrong with the movie, its a good 2 hour entertainment package, u don't get bored at most points, but from adi chopra, u kind of expect more. u expect something extraordinary, out of the box. and i think its adi chopra's fault, the only really diff movie he's made is DDLJ, which at its time was a classic, but after that, he's marketed products which were not so good as great...and thats built up expectations. as for the movie, refreshing to see mr. SRK doing some acting, but that lasts for abut half an hour, then he is back to the easy acting, the things he is very used to. i really don't see how that is acting, its the same old things he does in every movie...and its not like he can't act, but as he puts it, 'i do roles my directors offer me, if they give me different roles, i do different actors'...very conviniently blamed ont he directors. the new girl, anushkha (how soon do u think the spelling will change to anooska??!?) is good, acts well, looks good. and sounds intelligent.  nice movie to watch...but i think adi chopra should take more risks, should do something different, he has the success and name behind him, so why be so afraid. karan johar is a good example...he is atleast thinking differently, kabhi alvida naa kehna being the point in case, implementation will soon catch up. 

anyways Australia....or Australia, the adult fairy tale as i have been calling it. thats what it is...a land far far away...a princess makes a long journey...goes through some problems...finds her knight in shining armour....they together get over the problems...and everyone lives happily ever after...in the land far far away...thats where it should end...but hey, it doesn't, there is an entire new story after this one...and thats like a hindi movie. nice movie...i believe bas luhrman wanted to showcase the majestic land down under, and he surely was successful in that, thanks to the camera work and lighing. australia is beautiful, and this movie makes that very evident, its a shame that most of it is not explored. 

except for that, its just a big movie, big sets, lotsa money spent but ultimately its just one of the big epic movies. nothing really different. but still a decent watch. entertaining, funny in parts, although at no point does it make u feel sad, most such big movies in some parts do. 

anyways do watch oye lucky, lucky oye, and sorry bhai, the first better then the second, but then the second has Chitrangada singh...after a long time she is back. 

oye lucky because its different, and its has abhay deol who thinks and does things differently. its not very entertaining, but watch it just for how different it is, watch it from the directors point of view, and not the viewers point of view.

sorry bhai...well slow steady, nothing really special, a different story, and some good performances. and chitrangada.  

take care.

PS: i truly believe an idea and its implementation should be appreciated from the ideator / implementors point of view as well, not only by how successful and liked it was in the users/viewers eyes...even ideas which failed...could have been good ideas. could be that the world was not ready for it.

and the pics are from the iphone...thats what i do now a days, take pics from the iphone in a theatre...weird, i know.

new year...

for the lack of a better title...and since its new year, day one of 365 similar days!!!

i have come to know the value of expecting less. of expecting nothing. its the only way to live a happy life, because if u expect less, expect nothing everything is more then what u expected...

i know u must be going duh...

when u don't expect anything of anyone, everything they do for u is like a bonus...life if full of those cherries. it also means never to be disaapointed. and most of us don't have the maturity to take disaapointments, we complain about them, not know that we were expecting more in the first place.

sometimes we fall in the trap of expecations being built up, because someone has been doing something for sometime, being nice to us, giving a rose, we expect we will always be getting the rose. and when it doesn't happen, we complain. but then we humans donot follow the same path, we hardly ever go linearly. its not in our nature, and so doing the same things or better them always is inherently difficult. 

the question comes is, if u can't expect, how can u trust. if i don't expect my loved one to come behave like she always does, how can i ever trust her. well here the epiphany i had...u not only look at what was done for you, but also look at the circumstances around it, what led to it, what was the motive or driver behind it.  maybe the rose was given because someone on the road was selling roses, and he just came across that little girl selling roses...but then does that take away the happiness of getting the rose...no, because atleast he thought of giving the rose. be thankful and happy about that. its easy to look at negatives, but always rewarding if u look at the one postive. 

not expecting anything could be a very ballless way of living, its a way of protecting urself...and something we say when a lot of our expectations are not getting fulfilled. that i assure u is a way of telling ur heart that the world is not very good to you, and so do not expect much out of it.

but when things actually are done for u, and still not expecting anything out of life...life is happier. 

ofcourse the highs are not so high, and the lows are not so low...ur just walking.

long post of nothing...

take care.

ironies in the life of a bespectacled man...

of all people wearing specs i believe. apolgies for the sexist 'bespectacled man' but then it is about me, although through me, i am trying to tell the stories of everyone with four eyes...(thats what friends in school used to call me)

anyways, back to the topic. i wear specs, have a high power, and cylindrical, which basically means me grazing on a tonne of carrots is not gonna make any difference, its gonna stay, almost constant, throughout my life. its almost an extended part of my body now...but unlike my body parts, i can change the look of it from time to time. and i did just that today. got myself a new pair of eyes. 

took a friend along, who helped me choose the frame...well chose it for me, because....

irony no 1 - to try out new frames, u have to take of ur existing specs, and judeg urself with the new frame...but ur not wearing ur specs...so u can't see that well...and so how do u choose ur new specs!!! but then we, the bespectacled four eye geeks...we are good at the art of estimation...

but even estimation doesn't help when u go for haircuts...mine are already short, how much can u estimate. so the basic two instructions are...short...in a slope. good enuf, works most of the time, i come out looking the same almost everytime, not many times have had accidents which make people laugh. but irony no 2 happens at the barbers shop...mostly after the barber (sounds weird calling him/her that, but there is no other better word) has done the damage, he and once she, brings out this huge rectangular mirror, and puts it behind ur head, at a 30 deg angle, and then they expect ur weakend eyesight to go from ur eyes to the mirror in front and reflect back to the 30 deg mirror...thats almost 2 feet...u think if i could see that much, i wouldn't be wearing specs...but alas that never strikes. they still hold the mirror, and look at u, expecting a compliment even...after many years of going through the amusing torture...i just nod along, and he holds it on the other side again, 30% from the perpendicular. (which now that i think of it is totally absurd, which dumb ass barber will cut keep ur hair long on one side and short on another, well maybe its their small 'bored with cutting hair all day long, lets play a prank, he is anyways blind without the specs, will even show him with the 30 deg mirror' thing. its like a double joke on poor me).  

the third irony is well something which happens with me every third day, its so basic, and frustrates the most. loosing ur specs...how do u search for ur specs without wearing ur specs!!! its amusing...and slowly very frustrating...i actually have many times gone feeling the entire place like a blind man.  at that point u know the value of another bespectacled roomie...who competely understood the pain and would come running to help u out, wherever he was...ah i miss shinde.

i am sure there are more ironies...more amusements like the realisations when ur specs get wet in the rains...its like looking out of a window during rains...just that the window is about half an inch from ur eyes...and every drop is like a lense in itself. or the major decision u have to take when driving in rains...do i take off my specs and drive by estimation (not very safe) or do it keep them on and still drive by estimation....kua and khai kinds!!!

what ever, i am not going for the laser surgery thingy...even if my corneas are thick enuf.

take care.

 

TRICK-N-TREAT: A researcher asks dogs to perform a trick for a reward. But when one dog gets no reward, and then sees another get a sausage for doing the same trick, it refuses to perform the trick again

a times of india article, something which every dog owner already owners. dogs have the same feelings we do...all animals do. my jeanie, actually waits for jimmy to have his fill of food, and once he has turned away, she polishes the vessel away. we never have to wash it, its so clean. but the point is, she waits patiently sitting right next to jimmy. doesn't fight, but sits there, staring at jimmy and his food. jimmy, after some time, even if he hasn't had his fill, will turn away just out of shame. its happened to us as well right. 

and thats just an example.

just adding some much needed color to the blog...

take care. 

dil se and a dog

so the place i go to drink coffee every morning or afternoon (depends on when i am going to work), well the house next to this coffee place...has two dogs. one a huge and beautiful great dane. pic is in my other blog. huge as in huge...u should see it jump. anyways, its not about him, but more about the other one...who, i don't why, is always kept out of the house. i know dog lovers, and i think this family is one, so don't know why he is kept outside. looks like it has a breed, and is not very dirty. but it still is always kept out of the boundaries of the house. 

so what does he do...well sits all day at the main gate which is one of those scooter can only pass gates, shoulder height, grilled. he sits there all day long, sometime desperately, hopeingly pawing the gate, wanting to go inside. u can see in its eyes, there is this dedication to his cause, to the cause of getting in. nothing else matters to him. its beautiful. and its not like its one day...its every day. 

dil se...well manisha koirala has this one single objective...and she ignores the strongest of feelings, feeling of love, and follows that objective. 

so my point is...there are two kinds of people, one who are like the dog and manisha koirala. they are focussed on that one thing, getting freedom for their country, being with the girl they love, waiting for her...pursuing an idea maybe...they dedicate their life to that one thing. not easy...there are always those strings those relationships which are attached to you, which are so thin and easy to break, that u fear even to stretch them a bit. 

i wonder what kind of life is that...missing out on everything else. and what would happen if at if you come to the end of the road or you are out of time, and haven't reached ur destination. what kind of feeling would be, when on ur deathbed, after a life of waiting for someone, you are still dying alone. would there be a regret of loosing out on life...of an unsuccessful, hardly lived life? would you question 'was it worth it?'

and then there are those who just live life...objective is a good life...which frankly, ask me, is no objective. where everyday is just another day, a struggle, small achievements, never ending pains, and peace, which doens't last till the next moment.

a life where we are not better then animals, where objective is nothing but making more progeny, and then dying. ofcourse there is the usual masala...living a better life, make a lot of money etc etc...but at the very basic level, its just that. living to make more like u. 

but then, its a comfortable life. atleast you have those small joys, and you have some people to share those joys with. its a usual life, at the end of the road, u atleast have reached someplace. u atleast have something to show for. u don't have the disappointment of a wasted life, u don't question you life. 

so thats what it comes down to, is it all or nothing or are you satisfied with something.

and which life do you wanna  live??? 

similar...lives and people!!!

a long time back when i told my parents about this girl and our circumstances...my mom went 'history repeats itself' and i was surprised. slowly came to know about their lives, and found out that it was very similar to what i am going through. not the actual happenings...but yea to a level more then the usual. the circumstances, the behaviors and the outcomes were all very similar. 

today a friend is living through the same things that i did, the same circumstances, and in this case even the particulars are same. hopefully the outcomes will be different. 

he is making the same mistakes i am, and even after knowing the price i had to pay for my mistakes, still keeps on repeating them. guess even if u know about other peoples experiences,  you have to go through them urself to learn from it. they do not make sense till you do.

so two thoughts out of this. one, if all pieces in the two jigsaw are the same, they make the same picture. all ingredients are same, and they simmer for the same time, ofcourse the outcomes gonna taste the same. but a smallest of change can take you in a totally different direction in the long run. watch out for those. and surely if you see them, make sure u know whether to go down those paths.

other thing, well see if you can view this. we are divided into categories, so bengali, hindu, indian are all categories. each category has its own qualities. Till now, these categories did not interbreed, too much atleast. so those qualities became even more entrenched...so u know a bengali is a thinker and so. 

well now that interbreeding is quite common, it will be more difficult to categorize, at least in the traditional categories. now on every individual will be a collection of qualities, but there won't be any collection of individuals, there will be more diversity. imagine a world without any categories, without any tags like hindu, or metrosexual, at least tags based on non-physical characteristics. that would be nice. 

maybe we will come out with new categories, we already have 'IT crowd' as one. although not sure what the exact definition is...i guess there is no perfect definition for any category, there are vague definitions, which define 80% of the qualities, qualiteis which are common, and thats where my problem with tags and categories, they miss out on the 20% of uniqueness.

let the 20% define you...be known by that 20% which makes you unique.

take care

ank

terror marketing

i keep on coming back to the power of marketing...which seems to be the all pervasive driving force behind everything today. right from innovation to terror, everyone wants to be recognized, to be marketed.

and the mumbai blasts stamped that fact. the coverage given was immense, the terrorists caught on tape must have become poster boys for the like minded. their stamina, their motivation talked about, and this would become an inspiration for others.  those videos would be used for ever to motivate those vulnerable, to value death and killing more then life itself. 

so the question is would a blanket freeze over showcasing such videos, photographs help. would it lessen the motivation, would it make those ready to kill and die in the process for a cause which they do not really understand well, but are convinced is their own, question why?, question, what will i get out of it?

in a discussion with someone who has thoughts so of his own, over the motivation for killing, it was pointed out that its not really motivation coming out of a the cause, but more out of the fact that they will be regarded as heroes, as martyrs for a cause. the base why you even think of doing something like this is the absence of the basics in life, absence of food, education, those things which make life worht living, but the thing which second or third level motication, which actually makes you cross that line, which makes u believe that you are getting something in return is the fame which comes along with it. if thats true then, they would want to be known far and wide, and video's and photographs, and lengthy accounts of how they did it, goes a long way. so yes, a blanket ban on showing this to the general public would help. become fame (even through infamy) is, i believe a bigger motivation then money itself, then any religious cause, no one does anything especially if not serving one of your basic needs, if they know it won't be recognized.  its human nature.

and of course, the simple question of returns, ROI, will come into picture. if these things are not publicized the way they are, and as widely, imagine the number of attacks required for the same amount of terror. today after mumbai, the entire country is in fear, but if people in other cities won't have seen the images, it would be difficult to terrorize everyone with one attack. the ROI of that one attack will be very less, more sacrifices would be needed for the same results. and sorry for being cold, but thats how people who make decision would be thinking of it. cold and calculative.

that said, its only because of people watching that 60 hour marathon live coverage, of being glued to their TV sets, and the unending discussions that followed, that the reaction of the nation has been so strong. people are recognizing that the elected are not doing a very good job,  recognizing the fact that we, the general public, are being used like those young kids, who killed and died, for a personal agenda of some.  come to think of it we are not very different. 

all said, the power of media, and frankly, the power of marketing is immense, especially today. and with the immaturity of the majority audience, this power can, very easily be misused. the thoughts which are conveyed, the analysis which is given can change our thinking, because, frankly, very few of us think on our own, we just repeat or adhere to someone else's philosophy. easy to follow then to think on you own, let alone lead or walk alone.

so should media be analyzing at all. isn't the media's job to tell the facts, and if analyzing, have a differentiation between the facts, and their analysis, their comments. i believe news at least, the half an hour devoted every hour, should be devoted only to stating the facts. the analysis, should be preceded by a warning "this is our analysis, these are our thoughts, understand them, don't follow them blindly'"

as for the videos shown, its the same, videos showing actual events are fine, but videos of terrorists or those elected, should not be served to the public as fact. that is just making media a medium for propaganda. if it has to, they should be asked to buy airtime, and preceded by a warning..."this is propaganda, this is what this person or this organization has to say, this is not we are saying"

and i call them 'the elected' because, they are elected by us. they are our representatives. i believe this, those who rule, come out of those being ruled, they are one of us. the questions is are you electing the best of you, or the worst of you.

take care. hope you survive the new reality.

my sunday...

so we wait for the weekends now a days, heard working people value their weekends, and till now...the weekend used to merged in a long long working week, mostly work was on weekends as well, the work life balance thing, well work was in both the pans in the balance.  

and i am not a workaholic, i want to spend my time doing things i want to do, but more and more i see the division of work and life except for work fading, is a thin line today. i am on call all day long, all night long, first thing in the morning i do is check my blackberry, don't have any office hours, am free to go out of office as i wish, to run errands and all, even meet friends. 

i really don't like the division in the first place, i want to have my freedom to do what i want whenever i want, be it work, blogging, meeting people or doing anything else. for mood driven people like me, u might not be in the mood to work at some point, and if the division was there, u'd still be stuck at work, even though u wouldn't want to work, which means u'd just be wasting time.  thankfully with technology becoming so pervasive and advanced, with mobiles and blackberries, with access everywhere, working becomes a reality. 

so why weekends in the first place...guess, its more of a coordination thing, u know everyone's gonna be free on a weekend, also u know that its gonna be two days when u can leave work behind, but does that really happen? i am never able to leave work behind, am always synced in, to work and life both. all that is required is that you need to manage more things at the same time. keep more things in your head. 

so my sunday...got up at 11:30, still not satisfied, and so forced my self to sleep again, but like love, sleep also can't be scheduled. got up, had to run an errand, come home, take a nice long bath, watch the idiot box, rediscover an old movie, and find a new good sitcom after a long time. and see all my plans for the evening go for a toss. the place we were going to eat has closed, and even if open, the guy who was treating us got after effects of two and a half liters of beer, so thats out of the window. suddenly nothing is playing on the idiot box, and its raining heavily, and as much as i like getting wet, don't wanna really get wet today.

amazing how days change.

well shit happens, have stopped thinking of a perfect weekend!!!

take care. 

the one thing u can't do is have good face time, a limitation which technology has still now conquered, but as i see it, with virtual worlds, even that's gonna go away. touch and feel and smell, well that will take time, don't see that happening anytime soon.  

incidents...

some random things...

was at this coffee shop i go to every morning before work. was around 10, mostly am in a trance and so not very observant. went to the shop and saw everyone staring at something, someone. saw this drunk guy kind of pissed, and quite agitated. now drunk guys in bangalore is not new, every third shop is a wine shop, and at any time of the day u'd find people, drunk to death, lying on the footpath. but he seemed different, one he was well dressed, had an office bag in his hand. was in his mid 40's maybe. seemed like something had happened, something major and he just wanted to drown it in alcohol.  but all people saw was a drunk guy, no one thought beyond. no one asked why...everyone just grouped him along with all the other drunk guys.

he wanted to go home, was going from rickshaw to rickshaw, but no one would take him. i was almost praying someone would. 

i did nothing ofcourse. one i was kind of scared to poke my nose into this, not sure of my judgment of the guy, another, i didn't want to get late for my office. for all the high talk, this was what it came down to. anyways was thinking, for someone like this, who do we turn to get help, all i could do was to call police.  anyways that was that.

was on brigade rd today, waiting for someone while she was meeting someone...story of my life. anyways so didn't want to really do anything, so just bought a pirated book, the last lecture, and started searching for somewhere to sit. mostly i sit on some steps and just pass my time, but experience has taught me that people don't like it. especially if ur sitting in front of a shop, in the most unobtrusive of spots, the security always gets bothered. guess people don't like seeing people at peace, doing there own thing. anyways so found this place, and sat there. no security guard around, so was happy. well as luck would have it, he arrived after some time, i saw him, he stared at me, and my head went 'ok here we go' but he didn't say anything, just went past me. well good, a bit surprised but good. back to reading. after about 4 pages, some one nudges me, i kind of ignore, it many times has worked in the past, another nudge, look up ,he had a questioning expression on his face, may be was saying something which i didn't hear, had earphones on, and the security guard ws holding a chair....asks  me to sit on it and read. i smile. :-)

was going from office to meet someone, there is this long winding road, with nothing on both sides.  just fenced grounds, anyways its like a highway, beautiful road, curvy. its fun to bank at top speeds. anyways was going, and ran out of fuel. had to reach where i had to as soon as, but had no choice. started pushing the vehicle. there was no point of getting a rickshaw, didn't have time or patience to go to the petrol pump, get fuel and come back. and didn't expect a rickshaw to stop either, they mostly aren't very helpful in bangalore. so was resigned to my fate, and quite hopeless. and was just mechanically pushing the vehicle. 

suddenly seemed like someone pushed my activa from behind, i got this rush of anger, thought someone actually banged into me. look behind and there is this rickshaw, occupied, the driver is sitting on a side and pushing the activa from behind. he doesn't say anything, and for a second i am confused, didn't expect goodness at the most unlikely of places or circumstances. he just looks at me, and i know what he wants. i sit on the activa, and he pushes it all the way to a petrol pump, ofcourse with my luck that day, it was closed and i had to push it for another 2 km, but thats another story. 

another one...if u go on brigade road, most weekends you can find this girl selling roses. she is cute, about 10-12 years old, speaks fluent school english, has a pleading but hopeful look in her eyes. she tells u that i go to school, pleads and you always feel for her. one of my friends always busy the roses, even though he doesn't have anyone in the city to give it to. i never do, today i did, had a sister to give it to. not digressing from the topic, people do buy from her. she sells it for 20 bucks a rose, but people still do. there are other beggars or people who sell stuff, but not from them. guess the pschycological effect of seeing a 'good family' girl, well dressed and speaking english, pleading for money sells well. plus the girl looks really genuine. and i am not being a cynic, she is genuine and i appreciate the fact that she is selling something, and not just begging. and also her marketing skills at selling roses on brigade road, every second person there is a couple. but i, whenever see a beggar, always end up thinking if he or she is genuine. sometimes even curse them, saying they have able bodies, why don't they work. well just my way of getting over my guilt at not doing anything for them. making them seem undeserving, somehow tells me i am not doing anything wrong. 

so the point of all the stories, well true observations from my life...we see so many nasty things and nasty people, seeing good things, gestures, people helping without asking almost surprises us. its not how it should be, should it. well i guess, there are still far more good things in life, we just don't see them, don't talk about them more. the bad things, crimes, things people do to hurt to others, they get far more mileage, and so are spoken of more. look at the news today, is there any news channel which spends anytime talking about good people, good achievements. one of the major reasons life becomes negative. 

talk about good things, looks at good people, appreciate goodness. why talk about the 20% and ignore the 80%. should be the other way round.

long post...and after a long time, something i liked. 

take care. 

purity...

inpsiration...lets see what comes out.

watching a couple of movies, parrallely, both are quite different, one talks about gandhian values...about goodness, the other about love...or rather fixing love. but both at the basic level talk about purity.
lagge raho munnabhai brought back what gandhi used to preach, and managed to mould it such that i made sense in todays context, understandable to our generation, somehow it managed to bring back values our parents use to live by.
what gandhi preached was quite simple...goodness, being true to urself and the world, trying to make people around you happy. and that stuff truly works. with all the politics we play, all the trivial power plays, they simply make life more complicated. they burden our brains with more crap to think, and more then that, they burden our hearts with a guilt. well why would you feel guilty when ur are playing a well thought out power game, when u knowingly don't wish someone, and that not wishing someone makes u feel superior. well u feel guilty, because deep down, we all are good people. the base over which our brains builds these power play castles, is mostly always goodness. and after playing all those games all day, all week long, when you have a moment to yourself, you always question why. you might say, well i don't, i always feel happy at that small fight, that small tussle you won, but buddy, ur loosing the battle, slowly but surely. many times you don't even get enuf alone time to think, ur so entangled in the power plays.
trying doing something good, say a happy goodmorning, help carry someones bag, hold the door open, something more significant maybe...buying that old guy a coffee...it feels good. and one small thing, wipes away the guilt from a hunderd other big mistakes.
and also how difficult is it to do the right thing, its amazing, we need guts to do the right thing nowadays, well since always, but isin't it funny. u think twice about doing the right thing because of others, who all are doing the wrong things, might judge you. ironic....do the right thing. all it takes to start is some guts, once u get used to it...it becomes a way of life. and its beautiful.
preachy ain't i....well more coming
hitch...date doctor...amazing that all these concepts start our of NY. speed dating too...what ever you say, they have evolved more then us.
anyways, hitch and the entire concept of a love fixer is kinda disgusting right, but some how they manage to put it in a likebaly way, which actually makes sense. hitch says, thats why falling in love is so difficult (although at the end, the funda is kinda turned over by allegra...am watching the movie so remember the names) anyways it is kinda difficult, because we are more judged by our exteriors, it takes time to know the core qualities, and who has time for that. plus the marketing exterior that we put on show are far easier to comprehend, and thats what my hitch does, makes sure that u don't get rejected at the first look, at the first conversation. well he makes sure u get beyond that, so that atleast a part of you core comes out, and love when happens is based on that. its not purity, but it gives purity to come out atlease.
anyways so...take care.

roots...

some one some time back was asked me...what are your roots. and it left me wondering, are roots so important. she told me its important to be connected to be your roots. well...roots is an apt word for what was being asked. roots keep you rooted. it saves you from becoming a floater, but it also doesn't let you be totally free. the freedom of thought is never there if you are rooted.
roots can be regional, can be caste wise, what she wanted to hear was whether i was a bengali. i am not, and am proud of it. i told i am an Indian, and immediately realised how cheesy and funny that sounded, because we never use that do we. we always say we are bengali, gujrati, from bombay, but hardly anyone of us says i am an Indian. i am.
why...i identify with being an Indian, and don't identify being a bengali, or from ahmedabad, or working in IT. the only tag, atleast for some time that i want attached to myself is Indian, and as said, only for some time, some day wanna be a world citizen.
that gives me the freedom of thought of looking at bengalis as they are...the good , the bad and the ugly and about all other cultures. it also takes away the pride a bengali feels at being a bengali.
roots are not bad, they give you stability, they don't let you float away, if ur rooted, ur know where you home is, where you feel secure, which type of people you feel comfortable with.
roots are given just by staying at some place, between a particular kind of people for a significant amount of time, well actually along time. we don't become bengalis or mallus just because we are born to bengali or mallu parents, its because we stay with bengalis, between bengalis, in kolkatta...but what if ur both parents are not bengalis...you have never been to calcutta and have had minimal contact with bengalis...are you still a bengali. i am not.

i wonder about people who have travelled the world when they were very young, the ideal most case would be someone who has travelled the world, without their parents, guess there would be no place they could call home, there is no place they would feel passionate about, they would look at every place as it is, every culture as it is. they won't really cheer for their team from the heart, because there is not team they can call theirs. seems like a waste of a life...but thats what i want.


next question i am gonna answer, asked yesterday...what makes you experienced. age is surely not the answer, going through a hell lot of stuff....well yes, but really, understanding what you are going through and why. experience doen't really mean that when the same situation comes up again, you will act differently. how many of us have done the same mistakes when in love. but atleast if you understand what you are going through, you know whats going on.

and you can't learn from other peoples experiences, you have to go through you own. people say a lot of stuff...but just listening to them doesn't get that into you psyche. hearing someone elses horrid stories about their accidents, doesn't mean that you will automatically start driving slow...you have to go through you own.

and thats exactly why our evolution has been slow, you do almost everything that the other did, so the results will also be almost the same...and also why we are different from the other by a very small degree. its like genetic algorithms, mutations are very few, far apart, and many times don't survive.

take care.
I should rename the blog...my ramblings. that exactly what they have become, hate the quality of whts coming out of me now a days, thats why am writing less. hope its a phase. need inspiration.

teams...

teams.....so how do you make a team. not groups, those are easy, just put a bunch of people together and you got a group, most probably a good for nothing group. a team is a higher level, a very higher level, they not only work towards achieving the objectives set forth, but act more like a family. they care about each other, they enjoy and cry together, know each other personally...and it goes on. its a family away from family, as time goes by, you don't have any barriers between your self and your team.
but..how do you get there. time and again, i have observed, if you go through a problem, a crisis, an issue together, work thorugh it, go throught he highs and lows, become part of the blame and the cheer,,,you end up developing a relationship which goes beyond work. you develop a connection of sorts. a connection which disagreements over work issues, or issues related to achieving that objective cannot break. you end up being a team. its true for any kind of work, rememeber college days, when you used to work together towards that submission or towards organising that fest, working all nights, till death came. or remember solving that issue, which wouldn't get solved, instead you would discover new things which would frustate you...
coming through a problem together makes a bond, because to solve that problem, you have to get over the small differences you have, you have to understand and laugh at the small quirks of the other and of yourself, else you would never be able to solve the problem. and also because you share memories for long after you have solved the problem. you also get a chance to enter the personal area, remember the late night call you boss got form his wife, and how he explained it. well that made you understand that he also is human. he also goes through the same problems as you do.
getting out of work...doing some physical activity together, a cricket team maybe, going trekking together...jsut having a birthday party bash...drinking together. they all have the same effect. and i guess its because you get to see the other side of a person, the non official side. it helps you trust a person more. i have seen the most diplomatic, guarded of people give up their inhibitions, get excited, blabber our, and when you see the human side of someone, you start trusting them. you start believing they are also like you,
well enough said...so back to the original question how do you make a team...well go for a trek...a real arduous one. you will get yelled at by everyone, but atleast they all will bond. and as a boss, or person responsible for achieving the objective, thats what you want.